Happy Thanksgiving!

As we move towards the Winter Solstice, and the hours of sunlight grow shorter and shorter, this is a great time of year to turn inward and notice the people and circumstances for which we are most grateful.

I encourage you to express gratitude and thanksgiving to at least three people this week…and notice how you feel inside.  What emotions do you feel? How do you feel in your body? Perhaps you will feel love arising…not necessarily mushy, sentimental love, but a more universal feeling.

Pay close attention those positive feelings and sensations. Savor them. And then set an intention to spread those good feelings to your work. You might imagine a that the positive energy is like a mist and it spreads gently, touching any element of your life that needs to come into the light, some situation or relationship that is calling out for greater meaning and fulfillment. Then, exhale, and release the outcome. You might write down any insights or “aha’s” in a journal, and track what happens.

When you transform your feelings about a difficult issue or relationship, you “work from within” to regain your sense of impact. Instead of feeling so stuck, focusing on any positive aspect, even if it seems teeny, helps you to feel better and open up new possibilities. While you may not get exactly the outcome you expect, practice being grateful (even to the person or situation for being an extremely challenging teacher) and you are very likely to generate new choices. You fuel positive change with positive energy.

Your emotions and sensations are novel and original in each moment. So by allowing yourself to focus on positive aspects of in any moment, and feeling and sensing our own well-being, we transform our brains so that new neural pathways are created, instead of being “stuck in a rut.”

Maybe, just maybe, these suggestions will allow you to experience what the poet Khalil Gibran said of work…“Work is love, made visible.”

I’d love to hear how this works for you! Drop me at line at Info@WorkFromWithin.com

Happy Thanksgiving!
Susan

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – If you’d like to get out of a rut about your career, I invite you to read about the January 15 – 17, 2010 workshop I’m teaching at the Esalen Institute.

Yesterday, I was speaking to a job search group, Experience Unlimited, in Walnut Creek, California, about creating work that truly fits. When I opened up the floor for questions, these are two of the questions I heard:

“I switch companies when I get bored. I’ve had a great time being an electrician, a photographer, and about 100 other things so far in my life. But I’ve had too many job experiences. Even though I’ve left companies when I’ve felt it was right to go, I haven’t stayed long enough. So, now, it’s hard to find a job. What do I do?”

“With the economy so tight, companies expect you to be able to do absolutely everything in the job description and more. There’s no way for me to get a job right now, because I only have some of the experience, and not all of it. How am I supposed to get work in this financial climate?”

Do you notice the limitations in thinking in these questions? The people asking them are essentially saying, “What I’m looking for is not out there.”

Dare I be so bold as to state this:  The problem, my friends, is not out there.  The limitation lies within you.

To the person who gets bored, I said, “Hallelujah! You refuse to be bored. You need to be challenged. You want to grow. To do that, you need to find organizations and individuals who share your vision, who want what you want. I wonder if you’re ashamed or embarrassed that you’ve enjoyed yourself, when so many people around you just “numb out” and “go through the motions” at work?”  He admitted feeling sheepish about how much pleasure he derived from work. That attitude kept him from feeling entitled to derive even more pleasure from work. Consequently, he kept meeting companies who questioned his diverse experiences.

When you feel naughty or bad for what you”ve done or what you desire, you tend to cut ourselves off from having more of that. And you do it by limiting your thinking, by defining yourself in negative ways.

To the man who can’t seem to get hired, I said, “So, it sounds like you do have work experience, yes?” He replied, “Oh, yes, very good experience. Just not enough of it.” He threw a roadblock in his way by believing that no company could hire him. I suggested that companies still have problems, and that perhaps if he didn’t get hired for full-time, long-term employment, he might contract himself out for projects or “gigs” where the expertise he does have could be utilized. On a contract basis, he could see if he truly enjoyed the company, and he could also demonstrate other skills. Perhaps he would be hired for the long run. But by believing he didn’t have enough experience, he was limiting himself.

So when you notice yourself feeling unfulfilled, lacking or resentful, I encourage you to notice the ways you perceive yourself and your opportunities. Maybe it’s time for an upgrade in your thinking. Expand your possibilities.

We even have subtle ways we limit ourselves, like the way we dress. If you were the male dean of a top 10 business school, would you wear an earring? What message would that telegraph?Would that look professional enough, especially when you meet with corporate sponsors?

Well, Richard Lyons, dean of the Haas School of Business at UC Berkeley, was interviewed in the fall of 2009 about the earring he wears, and explained:

“I started wearing the earring shortly after I joined the Berkeley faculty. You see how fast this place gets to people? Actually, one of my colleagues and I went out and got our ears pierced together. For me, it’s a reminder of how many degrees of freedom we actually have in our lives. We get on certain pathways and do certain things, but usually we grow the most when we take risks and experience big transitions. We don’t need to define ourselves one certain way, or as one certain thing. We can be many things in our lives. I like being reminded of that.”

How can you redefine yourself and expand your degrees of freedom? What events or situations might you see differently, to support you in creating what you really want in life?

Expanding possibilities,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

I was delighted to hear this story on American Public Radio with management consultant Charles Handy, where he talks about creating your own work — which is what I’ve been advocating for such a long time. I encourage you to listen to the story in Handy’s own voice, or certainly to read the transcript. For efficiency, I’ve highlighted the key points here:

1. There’s a difference between a “job” that’s for an employer, and a “job” that’s for a client — in other words, a project or a gig. In this economy, we need to be more entrepreneurial and look for the latter.
2. The world is full of potential clients — for something. Value your own skills, talents, and abilities, and you’re likely to find a way to have others value them. Get creative. Do you make something you might sell? Can you help people? There are some pretty wild ways to make money, including one of my favorites, Sarah’s Smash Shack, where you can pay to break plates. It’s cheap therapy, and Sarah’s got a wild business model!
3. Most of us are not born entrepreneurs, so we have to practice it. The younger, the bettter. Personally, I’ve seen people in their mid-50’s put themselves out on a project basis for the first time, ever, and succeed. Maybe not instantaneously, but it’s totally possible.
4. Find someone who will pay you money for something you make or do for them. My suggestion? Try this while you are still employed. Do a project on the side for someone. That used to be called “moonlighting,” and it’s more important than ever that you learn how to market yourself and your services. In fact, I’m a big believer in calling it something other than “marketing,” because that can sound big and scary and ultra-corporate. How about just referring to this exchange as connecting your talents with someone else’s needs?

So, what are you doing to go beyond working for someone else, and start being your own boss? What resources have helped you to make that transition? Got a story to tell about your own journey from employee to being your own boss? Share it with us!

On the job,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

Today, I heard from a new client who recently left a very stressful job, one that didn’t fit him too well. I’m writing about him because he’s a bit unique, in that he did a few things that are considered taboo:

(1) He left one job without another one lined up

(2) He didn’t immediately start looking for his next job — instead he first took a “pause.”

As I see it, this man is very wise. He took some time to relax, go to a beach, and unwind before embarking on the journey of creating work that truly fits for him.

He’s also counter-culture.  Why is he counter culture? continue

Last week, I was a speaker at Career Reboot Camp, and heard the keynote speaker, one of my heroes, Richard Bolles, author of the career classic, What Color is Your Parachute? and his new book, The Job-Hunter’s Survival Guide: How to Find a Rewarding Job Even When There Are No Jobs. As always, Dick was in amazing form, full of great stories and wisdom.

I want to get right to the heart of the points he made to help those looking for work:

1. (1) Stop saying that “there are no jobs.” It’s not true! What we hear in the media is only part of the story. Each year, roughtly 31 million jobs disappear. But, in a year, 32.8 million new jobs are created. So, net-net, we actually have 1.8 million new jobs per year. The issue is “churn.” We hear more about the job losses, and some job titles go away forever (do you know anyone who’s a buggy whip maker?), but new jobs and job titles are constantly popping up. Sometimes, job titles are new.

(2) We need more sophisticated job search tools. Stop looking up jobs by title (and stop looking on the Internet, as I’ll explain further). Titles change. Ten years ago, was anyone a “social media expert”? I doubt it. But now, we have all types of jobs in that arena.

(3) It IS taking longer, on average, to find a job. It used to take 14-16 weeks. Now, the average is 26 weeks. That means you need to think about your finances and your sanity, and plan accordingly.

(4) Use the first few weeks of a job search to catch up on sleep. No kidding, Dick suggested this.  I agree! We are so tired from the blow to our egos, and just tired from working. Don’t feel guilty. Take care of yourself. Remember, that’s the self you need to bring to interviews. You’ll look better if you’re rested!

(5) Use more than one job search method, but not more than four methods. Research shows that of people who use just one search method, 51% give  up within the first month. But if they have two search methods, only 31% give up.  So, don’t just look on the Internet. Do things like joining a job search club, attend networking meetings, do informational interviews…you get the idea. See people. Don’t hide behind your computer.  And, with too many job search methods, you dilute your efforts. So use 2 to 4 methods to look for work.

(6) What’s your most important possession during a job search?  HOPE! That will keep you going.  Do whatever you need to do to maintain hope, so you have momentum.

(7) Don’t look for your job online. Gosh, Dick said this over and over again, so many different ways. I have always thought that looking online was a way of “hiding out.” Well, data bears this out. Only 4% of job seekers find their jobs online. Four percent! That’s measly. Get out there, folks.  Meet real people. People care about and want to help people. Your computer and the Internet? Sorry, but they don’t love you or have empathy for you. Even if you talk to them. Sorry.

(8) Resumes don’t work as well as they used to. They are not the persuasive documents we think they are. No one likes writing them (well, except maybe professional resume writers) and almost no one enjoys reading them. We enjoy meeting people, not reading paper reviews of people. Dick stressed using personal relationships. If you ARE going to be online, spend your time making contacts and getting appointments with people you meet on LinkedIn (I wholeheartedly love this last part of his advice. It’s so worthwhile to do keyword searches to find helpful people on LinkedIn, and I confess to my bias of being a gigantic fan of the LinkedIn community.)

ALL great advice, and I encourage you to take it. I picked up one other great morsel during the Q & A portion of Dick’s talk. An audience member, who is also part of the clergy, noticed that Dick was really talking about seeing opportunities. So, instead of calling the collection of activities of looking for work a “job search,” this gentleman proposed saying that he was on a “job opportunity feast.”

Ah!  I love it!  A “Job Opportunity Feast.” The smorgasbord of choices out there! If you are tuned to looking for opportunities, you will see them. Why not envision a feast out there, and everyone you meet can point you to some other delicious dish — a helping of connections, a serving of companies to consider, a dash of industries to consider.

What treats are you putting on this table? Let’s make a job opportunity feast together! Take a moment and post your best job search ideas here.

Optimistically yours,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Here are links to Dick’s newest book, and his classic:

Each week, I’m  blogging about a different card from the Get A Move On! deck of cards. This week, I’ve chosen to share some wisdom about the card Smile.

I was in no mood to laugh. A friend had called to tell me she lost all her investments. I thought I had a speaking engagement, and it was canceled at the last minute, and since I hadn’t anticipated it, I lost out with no recourse. I looked out the window onto a grey, gloomy day and rain was coming down in sheets. I felt like the soggy pile of leaves that was collapsing in front of my house. How was I supposed to be upbeat and positive to support a client who would be calling in 10 minutes for her coaching session?

I imagine you’ve been in a crummy mood before.  So, when you’re feeling low, what can you do to shift out of it?

One answer is to smile.

Over the past 10 years many studies have demonstrated that our emotional state is highly correlated with the activity in our facial muscles. Scientists Fair and Schwartz have reported that research participants who are asked to imagine positive images have stronger responses in their zygomatic muscles than those who depressed patients who imagined negative images. Zygomatic muscles are basically the muscles that make you smile. Scientists have also found that people can lift their mood by smiling for 60 seconds or more, provided it’s a natural smile (not a Cheshire cat grin!)

Better yet, when subjects in the lab were made to laugh or smile naturally, their positive brain wave activity tended to be higher than when they forced themselves to smile.

So, what did I do to lift my mood on that grey, icky day? I stood in front of a mirror, and smiled as naturally as I could, as I imagined having a great connection with my client. “Crows feet” emerged, those little tell-tale lines at the side of my eyes that indicate a natural smile. And, after activitating those muscles, like a workout, I felt better. Part of the reason that works?   A genuine smile increases the production of serotonin, which is also known as the “happiness hormone.”

I’m happy to say that the 60 seconds of smile therapy worked – my gloomy mood brightened, I was able to connect with my client, and the day hummed along a lot better.

So, try some “smile therapy” to shift your mood.  And post a reply here to let us know what happens for you!

: )

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com