Yesterday, I was speaking to a job search group, Experience Unlimited, in Walnut Creek, California, about creating work that truly fits. When I opened up the floor for questions, these are two of the questions I heard:

“I switch companies when I get bored. I’ve had a great time being an electrician, a photographer, and about 100 other things so far in my life. But I’ve had too many job experiences. Even though I’ve left companies when I’ve felt it was right to go, I haven’t stayed long enough. So, now, it’s hard to find a job. What do I do?”

“With the economy so tight, companies expect you to be able to do absolutely everything in the job description and more. There’s no way for me to get a job right now, because I only have some of the experience, and not all of it. How am I supposed to get work in this financial climate?”

Do you notice the limitations in thinking in these questions? The people asking them are essentially saying, “What I’m looking for is not out there.”

Dare I be so bold as to state this:  The problem, my friends, is not out there.  The limitation lies within you.

To the person who gets bored, I said, “Hallelujah! You refuse to be bored. You need to be challenged. You want to grow. To do that, you need to find organizations and individuals who share your vision, who want what you want. I wonder if you’re ashamed or embarrassed that you’ve enjoyed yourself, when so many people around you just “numb out” and “go through the motions” at work?”  He admitted feeling sheepish about how much pleasure he derived from work. That attitude kept him from feeling entitled to derive even more pleasure from work. Consequently, he kept meeting companies who questioned his diverse experiences.

When you feel naughty or bad for what you”ve done or what you desire, you tend to cut ourselves off from having more of that. And you do it by limiting your thinking, by defining yourself in negative ways.

To the man who can’t seem to get hired, I said, “So, it sounds like you do have work experience, yes?” He replied, “Oh, yes, very good experience. Just not enough of it.” He threw a roadblock in his way by believing that no company could hire him. I suggested that companies still have problems, and that perhaps if he didn’t get hired for full-time, long-term employment, he might contract himself out for projects or “gigs” where the expertise he does have could be utilized. On a contract basis, he could see if he truly enjoyed the company, and he could also demonstrate other skills. Perhaps he would be hired for the long run. But by believing he didn’t have enough experience, he was limiting himself.

So when you notice yourself feeling unfulfilled, lacking or resentful, I encourage you to notice the ways you perceive yourself and your opportunities. Maybe it’s time for an upgrade in your thinking. Expand your possibilities.

We even have subtle ways we limit ourselves, like the way we dress. If you were the male dean of a top 10 business school, would you wear an earring? What message would that telegraph?Would that look professional enough, especially when you meet with corporate sponsors?

Well, Richard Lyons, dean of the Haas School of Business at UC Berkeley, was interviewed in the fall of 2009 about the earring he wears, and explained:

“I started wearing the earring shortly after I joined the Berkeley faculty. You see how fast this place gets to people? Actually, one of my colleagues and I went out and got our ears pierced together. For me, it’s a reminder of how many degrees of freedom we actually have in our lives. We get on certain pathways and do certain things, but usually we grow the most when we take risks and experience big transitions. We don’t need to define ourselves one certain way, or as one certain thing. We can be many things in our lives. I like being reminded of that.”

How can you redefine yourself and expand your degrees of freedom? What events or situations might you see differently, to support you in creating what you really want in life?

Expanding possibilities,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com