Yesterday, through a little experiment, I’ve discovered something vital. And I want you to take this idea for a test drive.

HeartsTest-drive this:  If you radiate love, you’ll gain confidence

I’m not actually talking about being in love. Sure, romantic love can make your hormones happy, and you’re more likely to feel on top of the world and capable of feats you previously considered magic.

This kind of love is different. It’s universal love. The love you feel about being alive, especially if you’ve had a brush with illness or death. I’m talking about the love you feel when you see natural beauty, like the autumn leaves transmuting from greens to reds and purples. The love you feel when you see a precious newborn baby, just hours or minutes old. That sense that all is well in the world.

It’s not even about receiving love.

Yes, you can feel confident when you receive love. Like when your spouse tells you how important you are. Or your kid tells you “You’re the greatest!” Or your parents let you know that they’re so glad they had you. Or your nieces and nephews make a big fuss that you’re playing with them, and you just feel the love pouring in.

Receiving love feels good. Really good. But I think there’s a different direction to the kind of love that leaves you feeling confident.

When you radiate love, you feel confident

It’s a premise that I tested out very deliberately yesterday, and I’m inviting you to test drive for yourself, and report back with what happens for you.

My story: Yesterday, I was feeling down in the dumps. A lot of things in my life are changing. Including the fact that I need to move. I’ve loved the house where I’ve been renting for over four years, but that’s coming to an end. Honestly, I’m feeling anxious about that. And a few other details, which I’ll wait to disclose, have got me feeling a bit on edge. Anxious, really.

So, I sat in my dear, sweet, Craftsman style house, bemoaning my fate, when I realized I was late for a meeting. I wiped the tears from my eyes, put on a fresh coat of mascara, grabbed my purse, and walked out the door. Inwardly, a little voice said, “I’m not ready for this meeting. I’m in no condition to go out. I feel shaky and nervous. Who would want to be with me? Not me!”

I know enough about creating Kick-Ass Confidence that I stopped, sensed my body, and discovered that I was feeling tight, tense, and almost nauseous. Good signs that I was creating havoc instead of help. So I stopped, slowed down, took some deep breaths, closed my eyes, and focused internally. I asked my Inner Wisdom to come help out, that part of me that knows how to be kind and supportive of me, instead of condemning. Within a few minutes, I heard and felt the words, “Radiate love.”

I wasn’t quite sure what those words meant, but I knew I had to listen. I knew I had to attempt to “radiate love.”

As I got in the car, a driver passed. I imagined that my heart was filled with universal love, and I just let it emit from my heart, kind of the way that a fog comes over a place. I visualized emanating love, as best I could.

Then, something sweet happened. The driver smile a warm, radiant smile at me. Hmm. I felt a little better.

As I got onto the highway, I imagined that my heart could just pour out love to everyone around. Almost magically, cars got out of my way. It was honestly a little eerie, but fun.

Just before walking in the door for the meeting, my chest constricted and I felt choked. I was unsure how the “radiate love” experiment would work out. But I figured I had a choice. Pour out anxiety. Or pour out love.

I opted for love.

As I opened the door, my mind’s eye pictured a sea of sweet multi-colored waves bathing everything around, including my fellow meeting participants. “You look radiant!” beamed one of my collaborators. “I do?” I asked, taken aback?

“Yes!” came a chorus of friends. Then, one by one, people came up and hugged me. “We’re so glad you’re here! We really need your expertise today!” Wow, from a day of feeling down to revving up the energy. This practice of radiating love was working. More than even on the other people, it was working on me. Giving me a place to put my attention. Offering me a way to generate a positive vibe.

Wow, what a way to gain confidence. By radiating love. As the Indian guru, Amma says, “Love can never be tiring or boring. It keeps filling your heart with more and more energy.”

It’s time for your test drive. Radiate love. See what happens to your confidence. Let us know. Post back here on the blog.

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What would YOU like to feel more confident about? I’ve decided to write a whole month of blog posts on creating Kick-Ass Confidence, from mid-September to mid-October. Each day, I’ll be sharing stories, ideas, and practices for cultivating feel-it-in-your-bones, deep-rooted, self-confidence. Get the whole series delivered to your email box, for free! Plus other fun goodies to help you boost your confidence. Subscribe now by clicking here.

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Category : Kick-Ass Confidence

4 Responses to “Test-drive this: If you radiate love, you’ll gain confidence”

Rose February 1, 2013

Today, I heard the words “Radiate Love’ and then I googled it after a few hours of pondering. Then pop! I read this wonderful column on another person hearing the same words. Thank you for sharing.

    SusanB February 1, 2013

    You are so welcome, Rose. So glad to touch you. Those words, “radiate love,” are such an important reminder to me. Sounds like they touch you, too.

Tanja September 29, 2011

What a beautiful practice, Susan – I look forward to trying it out next time I find myself desperately in need of it :-)

Incidentally, I understand how unsettling (and, let’s face it, terrifying) having to move house from a place you’ve loved living for years can be. My husband and were in that situation two and a half years ago, when our landlord decided that because of the economy, she needed to sell the place we’d lived in for over 5 years.

That was… not a relaxing time, as we looked at house after house after house. In the end, circumstances came together to allow us to buy our own place though… and despite the fact that I’d never aspired to being a property owner before, I actually *really* love the freedom of having a place that’s completely *OURS*

So I’m wishing you all the best for finding a place that’s every bit as good – if not better – than your current place… and thinking calm, relaxing thoughts in your direction for the search.

    SusanB September 29, 2011

    What a beautiful story, Tanja! Wow! I’m thrilled that you and your husband found a new place of your own. And as I radiate love, I find myself surrounded by more and more ways that things do work out well. Thank you so much for your thoughtful wish. Sending back a big hug of appreciation to you, Tanja! xoxo