Today, I was reading an article in The Economist about the employment situation in the US and extension of unemployment benefits. By all accounts, it’s not pretty.

But what really got to me was a picture of a man wearing a t-shirt with the words “I need a job.”  No, it’s not the picture here (look at the article to see the sad face of the man wearing it; the photo is copyrighted, so I want to be respectful). Let me help out the artist who created this particular t-shirt and send you to the link where you can buy that t-shirt.

I looked at this guy and thought, “He needs a different kind of job.”

He needs a J.O.B.

In other words, he needs a Jolt Of Belief.”

As I see it, if you are between jobs, you could benefit from a few beliefs:

(1) The belief of others. In other words, knowing that other people believe in you. If you are seeking your next work opportunity, ask people you care about to tell you, “I believe in you.” And ask them to give you at least three concrete reasons why they believe in you.  It’s a free way for them to help you. Take in what they say. And notice how good it feels.

Suggested Activity: Ask a good friend to tell you “I believe in you.” Go on. Do it. Now. Yes. Really.

Hey, if you’re reading this, and you know a job seeker, be proactive. Tell that person why you believe in them. You’ll make their day. I promise.

(2) The belief in yourself. It can be tough, day after day, to get up and seek work. Since we live in a country where we often define ourselves by the work we do, it can be awkward, humbling, and vulnerable to be without a job. Not that it’s a crime. Not that we should be working all the time, especially if that work means knocking ourselves out.

No, I just want to say to you, if you are in job search mode: “Believe in yourself. Find that place within you, no matter how teeny tiny it seems, that trusts and knows that all will work out. And just focus on that. Magnify that. Nurture that small spark of belief in yourself, because it will grow.”

Suggested Activity: Read the paragraph above to yourself at least three times a day. Out loud. In the mirror. And watch for magic.

(3) Belief in the interconnections in the world. If you’re seeking a job, you have a set of skills, talents, and abilities. What if you knew that what’s innate in you was the answer to the problems to at least a few people or organizations in the world? What if they were hungry to find you, even if they didn’t yet have a job posted? What if right now, they were hoping and wishing for someone just like you? Would you feel better?

We DO live in an interconnected world. And if you allow yourself to open to the idea that you are a perfect match for someone or some company, what happens? Do you feel lighter? More hopeful?

OK, I imagine you saying, “Yeah, but I have really specialized skills.” Or you might say, “My skills are a dime a dozen. I’ll be competing with the whole world.”

Let those negative ideas go. For now. They don’t serve you.

Suggested Activity: Engage your active imagination. Imagine shaking hands with a future employer. Look around at your new workplace. See your new co-workers and their smiling, welcoming faces. Do this for at least five minutes every day. And watch what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised to find new employment possibilities opening up for you.

(4) Belief in something bigger than yourself. Whether you call that God, Allah, Krishna, Buddha, The Universe, My Higher Power, or whatever…surely, some force created the world in which we live. Can you allow yourself to believe that you exist for a reason, even if you have no idea what that reason is? And if you embrace that idea, even for a second, does it not follow that you are here to do good, to use your talents? Or are you wedded to the idea that you have all these gifts, these abilities that you want to use at work, and that you’re just being mercilessly tortured and taunted, and being held back from using them? If you believe that, perhaps you’re wounded at a deep level. Perhaps at a young age, you were made to feel worthless. If that’s the case,  my heart goes out to you. But I’m here to tell you that you are far from worthless. You are deeply valuable. Whatever this entity or energy is that is bigger than you…let’s call it the “collective consciousness” for now…well, it wants you to connect to others. It wants you to share your gifts.

Suggested Activity: This is a little experiment for you: What if you have a conversation, aloud, in your journal, or from your heart, with this Higher Power, this bigger-than-you energy? And you ask it to reveal to information about where you are to be matched. Where your ideal placement is, for now. Your ideal colleagues, your ideal organization. You might get that information in a magazine you read. On a billboard you see. In an idea that pops in your head in the shower. What if you allow this Higher Power to guide you, and you trust your heart as you see signals, signs, and little (or big) clues to follow.

Hey, this idea is like chicken soup:  It can’t hurt. And it just might help. Really. I’ve seen it help.

So please, if you say “I need a job,” take a moment and rephrase that. Ask for a JOLT OF BELIEF. Ask others to tell you they believe in you. Take a moment to believe in yourself. Believe in the interconnectedness of our world and how that means you’re bound to find where you’re needed. And believe in a higher power, and ask for its guidance.

I believe in you!

Susan

PS – Notice that I don’t call people who are between jobs “UNemployed.” If you happen to be without a job right now, please read my blog post about avoiding the “UN”  word. You’ll save yourself agony, and you actually might just increase your chances of landing a job!

I have a confession.

I’ve been a stress case.

That’s hard to admit. Especially since I work with people to help them come alive at work. I do love coaching people, on a one on one basis, about their work. And I’ve been feeling more and more confident about my ability to help people truly light up at work. My head and heart both trust the effectiveness and transformational value of  the unique ways that I help people to conceive of work that fits them. So now, I’m quite hungry to expand my reach and impact so I can touch more people. That has meant teaching more group programs, writing, speaking in as many venues as possible, and influencing larger groups. Doing all these new activities has involved learning how to use webinar software, getting on the phone to talk to organizations and businesses about helping them, discovering how I can best describe what Work from Within is all about, and generally stepping out in the world in a much bigger way. Most of the time, learning these new skills and approaches to marketing Work from Within and my philosophies and practices has been fun. But it’s time consuming, and I’m prone to rush myself and demand results (dare I say, money) rather quickly. I’ve been impatient for success. I want it on my timeline, darn it!

All this effort lead me from stress toward burnout. I started recognizing the shift from becoming angry and frustrated at my circumstances to feeling resigned. For example, I would try to learn how to use webinar software, and somehow I’d lose my participants into the Internet ether (oops!). I’d feel enraged at the software and embarrassed at not being a perfect presenter. Then the nasty voice of Little Miss Perfect would scream in my head, and I’d berate myself for not getting familiar enough with the tools I needed to make the webinar hum along.

Over the course of a few months, I started to think: “I just don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not a celebrity yet, like Oprah or Suze Orman. Who am I to help people learn to come alive at work? I’ve been running Work from Within for five years. So why am I not on TV yet? Why haven’t I written a book, let alone published it? What am I doing wrong? Maybe I should just give up…”

My body began to feel heavy as a boulder, sluggish as a slug, mentally foggy like the June Gloom that hangs over the Pacific Coast, and downright stomp-my-feet-and-shake-my-fist irritable.  I remembered the difference between stress and burnout. Stress is about feeling over engaged and anxious. When you hit burnout, you’re likely to become disengaged, hopeless, and depressed. I was headed for the latter. After weeks and weeks of this experience, a lightbulb went off in my head:  Perhaps my ideas about failing and taking too long to make an impact aren’t true. Maybe I’ve been seeing my circumstances through a distorted lens, a narrow angle.

I resolved to shift my energy. I’m all about maximizing Return On Life Energy (ROLE), so I knew I needed to take action to build up my energy stores. I started with getting checked out by the practitioners at the Acupuncture and Complementary Medicine clinic in Berkeley, because I love that Chinese medicine is all based on life energy (which the Chinese call qi, and which Indians call prana). It’s been a process of replenishing my energy stores. I’ve gone from depletion to stagnation to amplification to expansion. Instead of feeling exhausted and irritable, in the course of six weeks, I’m now feeling mellow, flowing, and full of ease. And filled with gratitude for my life and the beauty in the world, sensing the joy of simple things, like the warmth of the mug of my wild sweet orange tea to the playful chatter of the birds in my magnolia tree.

Something else that helped my renewal, something counterculture:  I decided to follow my body’s instinct for rest. I booked a retreat at one of my favorite places on the planet, the Esalen Institute, on the Big Sur coast (I’ll be teaching a workshop at Esalen from December 5 to 10), with it’s warming sulfur hot springs, the crash of the waves of the Pacific Ocean against high cliffs, and the magical landscape with its rainbow of flowers, stands of gracious trees and cradle of rugged mountains.

To renew myself sense of self, I enrolled in an Esalen workshop with performance artist extraordinaire, Nina Wise, who created a practice called Motion Theater, a form of autobiographical improvisation. To me, learning Motion Theater was like finding self-transformational storytelling. Our group of ten women played theatre games (like forming ourselves into shapes and riffing off each others stories), meditated (in creative ways, including with singing), stretched, danced, and learned to tell our personal stories, rich with detail and grounded in sensory experience. Most importantly, the combination of verbal and non-verbal activities re-started my energy. By immersing myself fully in play and presence, I got back in touch with myself. Hallelujah!

If you find yourself sliding into stress, catch yourself and find your antidote. And if you’re slipping into burnout, or you’ve already landed there, stop pushing yourself. Your body, mind, spirit and emotions are telling you that what you’re doing needs to shift. It’s time to give yourself a break for relaxation, restoration, renewal, rejuvenation.

Based on my week at Esalen, and my personal discoveries, I’d like to share some suggestions for shifting out of stress and burnout and back into your essence, your true self, the quiet internal place that is you, no matter what.  Please feel free to take only what feels good, and trust your intuition to modify any of these ideas so they fit you:

Rest. I can be a work machine. That go-go-go behavior got ingrained in me during my tenure in management consulting, when I sometimes worked 80 to 100 hours a week. These days, I think that’s insane. It’s all push, no pull. In other words, I used to make myself do work, rather than feeling drawn or inspired to do it. When we’re stressed, we often push ourselves hard. But that push, push, shove, move forward, go, go, go energy is only one way of being. You are not a machine. You cannot keep up an unrelenting pace indefinitely. Staying up late, working around the clock, denying yourself breaks…this is a recipe for a breakdown. Instead, give yourself the gift of rest. Of doing nothing. Or doing only those things that are pleasurable. Not just satisfying, but truly nourishing. Make the choice to feed yourself what you truly want, which very well may be peace and quiet.

Relax your efforts. Before taking this retreat, I had been working for months without a break, staying up until 11 or 12 at night to reply to emails, plan a workshop, update my website. So much effort! In physics, effort equals work. But work — as in your career, your livelihood — need not be full of hard effort, at least not all of the time. Notice how hard you are trying, and reduce the effort. Here’s one way to do this: Start by doing something that comes very, very naturally to you. Like walking. Or talking on the phone with a friend. As you’re doing this easy, natural activity, become aware of your body and where you hold tension and tightness. Then, do an activity that you don’t do so easily. Not the hardest thing, but something that you have to pay attention to do, and where perhaps you have less skill. Like for me, that’s riding my bike downhill. I have to concentrate. I’m afraid I’ll fall. I can do it, but I have not yet mastered it. How do you feel, in your body, when you do this activity that you’re still mastering? Where are you tight? Where are you loose? Your clamped jaw, your shoulders that come up near your ears…these are all signs of added effort. What can you say to yourself (like “I’m starting to get the jist of this”), and how can you modify the activity (like doing less of it, or only a portion of it, or slowing it down) and particularly your expectations of yourself (maybe telling yourself “It’s OK to be a beginner, and to make mistakes”), so that you can feel more ease?

Reconnect with people who care about you. I’ve been going to Esalen for nearly a decade now, so in that time, I’ve made a lot of friends there. Having them ask about me, getting to spend time with them, catching up…these are all nurturing. I feel seen and appreciated by people who know me. In times of stress and burnout, we need to have people around us who will support us. Who might you like to have around you to support you? You might call a friend and ask to have an hour to just share what’s happening. You could get some friends together and have a “dump your problems in the garbage” ritual, writing down what’s bugging you, reading your list aloud with feeling and emphasis, and then ripping up your list and throwing it in a collective trash can or fire. Then, make a resolution to do one thing, just one for now, that can make you feel better. And report back to the group when you’ve done it, either in person, by email, or by phone. Connect to yourself by connecting with others who are willing and able to help you regain yourself.

Spend time in nature. The rhythms in nature tend to be so different than our man-made mechanistic rhythms of cars and traffic and TV show and meetings and all the scheduled, pre-planned activities, and the constant onslaught of information. Nature is slower, organic, cycling and shifting. Nature is not like the airbrushed superstars we see in magazines and attempt to emulate. It’s raw and honest, the apple that has been pierced by a worm looking for food, the jagged leaf that’s asymmetrical, the birds that do not fly on a preordained flight plan like airliners but flit from tree to tree as they feel called to explore and as the need arises for food and shelter. Nature reminds us to slow down, to get back in touch with our innate instincts and impulses, to trust the flow of life. Immerse yourself in Nature’s rhythms, and you’re bound to have your own reflected back to you.

Turn down your mind and turn up your innate, embodied impulses. When I’m being very verbal — even if it’s replying email — I’m up in my head. And if you’re anything like me, your head can be a dangerous playground, with the broken carousel of repetitive negative thoughts and the teeter totter of self-talk alternately flinging you between self-aggrandizement and self-deprecation. I often tell people to “take the elevator down,” suggesting that they move from their heads to the rest of their bodies. Give yourself time to explore and play non-verbally. Perhaps you will put on music and just move your body in whatever ways feel good, without thinking of the moves you’ll make. You could shake your body like a ragdoll for a few minutes and shake out the cobwebs. You might slither on the floor like a snake and then roll and ooze. You could move your hands like they are talking, which is an activity Nina Wise suggests in her book,  A Big New Free Happy Unusual Life. Listen to what you need, what feels satisfying, and nurture yourself the way a mother nurtures a baby: with touch, rhythm, and movement.

Open your heart. When we’re stressed our burned out, often we’ve neglected our hearts. We are so hell-bent on achieving success, so determined to do what’s right and good, so focused on making money or getting that promotion…and our hearts are suffering from being left out of the conversation about our needs. Needs? Hah, we think, it’s needy to have needs. No, actually, it’s not. Our heart’s desires deserve our attention. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes. Get quiet and put a hand on your heart. Ask your heart, “what do you need?” Be patient, and listen to the answers. Write them down. Follow the most compassionate or most nourishing replies first, like the ones that tell you “Give yourself a hug.”

In every moment, you can add ease and joy to your life by reducing the effort, doing what feeds you, and reducing the activities and situations that deplete you. Bit by bit, day by day, your practice of minimizing your energy drains and maximizing your energy gains will deliver you into a life and livelihood that works for you. That way of living does not come from being hard and harsh with yourself, but rather from relaxing, restoring, renewing, rejoicing, and rejuvenating, as needed. It’s just what the doctor ordered.

Love from Dr. Bernstein!

Susan

Are you fed up with your work? You know, frustrating colleagues, angry managers, ugly offices, unreasonable deadlines, massive bureaucracies, never-ending meetings…these things can drive you crazy.

Well, you’re not alone! Have you noticed that other people around you just want to throw in the towel at work?

I say “ARGH!” (Not very articulate…just ultra frustrating!)

World at Work recently reported on a study by The Conference Board:
The report, based on a survey of 5,000 U.S. households conducted for The Conference Board by TNS, found that only 45% of those surveyed said they are satisfied with their jobs, down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year in which the survey was conducted.

“While one in 10 Americans is now unemployed, their working compatriots of all ages and incomes continue to grow increasingly unhappy,” says Lynn Franco, director of the Consumer Research Center of The Conference Board. “Through both economic boom and bust during the past two decades, our job satisfaction numbers have shown a consistent downward trend.”

So, what’s causing this frustration with work? My answer may surprise you.

I don’t think it’s just that we have crummy managers and unattractive offices. It’s not just that tasks can be boring.

The big reason I believe job satisfaction tends to be low:  We give our control for our careers over to other people.

I talk to hundreds of people about their work every month. And when I ask them, “How did you come to be doing the work you’re doing?” I hear over and over again:

• I fell into my work
• I stumbled into my work
• Someone (my boss, my parent, my spouse) told me I should do my work
• Someone told me I shouldn’t do the thing I really love
• I figured that if I did what I love, I’d be a starving… (you fill in the blank…artist, musician, chef, etc.) so I just gave in and did something to pay the bills

Are you guilty of one of these? I was. My first week of college at the University of Arizona, I called home (a collect call, on the dorm’s hallway payphone) to my father and told him that I’d declared a major.  “What did you declare?” my dad asked.  “Psychology!” I exclaimed, breathlessly excited. I knew my passion. I’d be studying it.

Then came the silence. I waited. And waited. And waited for my father to say something. “Dad? Dad? Are you still there?” I begged to know, panicked about his lack of enthusiasm.

“Susan, you’ll never make any money until you get to the PhD level.”

Those words were sufficiently frightening to me, at the tender age of 18, to send me in a new academic direction. I studied Economics and Marketing. I sacrificed my passion for money. I did that for most of my career. And slowly but surely, the life energy was draining out of me, until finally, in 2001, I decided that I didn’t want to be a 70 year-old woman before I studied my first love. I wasn’t 100% sure what I’d do with my studies, but my heart was calling to me.

We so often leave our hearts out of our decisions about our careers. This is a recipe for disappointment. Work will ultimately become a dirty four-letter word if your heart’s not in it.

What can you do about increasing your job satisfaction?

1. Take back control. Instead of surrendering your control to well-meaning friends, co-workers, managers, spouses, family members, listen to your heart.

Ask your heart:

• What are you needing more of?
• What are you hungry for?
• What do you truly want to express to the world?

Be patient. If you’ve not listened to your heart in a long time, it may be shy or reluctant to share. Or, it may be itching to talk to you. Get a journal and write down whatever comes. Trust your heart. Listen to your gut. Then, put your mind in the service of your heart (and your gut, and all your inner wisdom, even in your little pinky toes).

2.  Take baby steps. Most of us try to make change too quickly, honestly. I know, I know, we feel like we’ve gotta have that new job now. Or we have to make everything all better in one felt swoop.

I would ask you:  What’s ONE thing you could try out doing differently this week? Here are some ideas for first steps:

• Frustrating colleagues? Plan a conversation to clear the air and start fresh. Put it on the calendar. Then prepare by reading about a subject like Marshall Goldsmith’s non-violent communication so you have a model for communicating effectively.
• Angry manager? Read a great book like Douglas Stone & Bruce Patton’s Difficult Conversations so you know how to talk to your manager. Find something to do to let go of the anger, like taking a walk or writing in a private journal.
• Ugly office? Bring in a vase and fresh flowers. Put up a photo that pleases you.
• Unreasonable deadlines? Prioritize all of your projects, so you know what’s most important.Write a workplan and discuss it with your manager. If you can show that you’d need to work an incredible number of hours, look for solutions to eliminate or shorten steps, delegate portions, or create time-off after you put in a big push of work.
• Massive bureaucracies? Find experts in your organization who’ve mastered the art of getting things done – take them to lunch and pick their brains, so you learn how to do it.
• Never-ending meetings? Suggest trying out stand-up meetings as leader Bob Schoultz suggests. Most people will go faster if they’re not sitting down.

3. Believe that great work is possible. Many of us block ourselves with expressions like “work sucks” and “well, this is as good as it gets” or “I can just suffer through this.” Do you really want work that fits you? Then I believe you must craft your “work from within,” for if you do not believe, deep within yourself, that this is possible, you will sabatoge your possibilities for great work.

Great work is not just an idea. When you have great work, you embody it. So take charge, and follow your heart. Let it set your direction. And then ask your mind to help you move in that new, heart-felt direction.

With care,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Do you really, truly want work that fits for you?

What are you doing to create it?

I’ve got a great new 7-week webinar series, “Don’t Look for a Job! Create a ROLE That Truly Fits for You” that I’m offering on Wednesday nights from April 7 to May 19, 2010. Check it out at http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/

Go ahead and get a taste! Sign up for a free preview call to learn more about that webinar. The free call is on Wednesday, March 3, 6-7 pm Pacific. Get all the details at  http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/#1

I love to give gifts! With or without fancy wrapping paper and bows, it’s the thrill of watching people’s faces and watching their smiles, hearing their excitement, and just generally being around delight.

Well, I would like to give YOU a gift. If you’re thinking about attending the “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit” workshop I’m teaching from January 15-17, 2010, at the gorgeous Esalen Institute, in Big Sur, California, I have an added bonus when you register:

Register by Wednesday, January 13, and you will receive a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me after the workshop. You can use the session up until February 28th, 2010. If you had to pay for this out of pocket, it would cost you $135, so think of it either as a $135 discount, or a great added value. Most importantly, I trust that this session will help you to accelerate what you discover during the workshop, so that you’ll be able to make your next career move with more calm, clarity, and courage.

So, let me share with you about what you’ll learn and discover in this interactive workshop:

• You’ll illuminate what’s important in your future career
• You’ll replace ill-fitting social norms about “work” with visions of what you truly desire
• You’ll brainstorm ways to create meaningful work
• You’ll get clear about your next steps to pursue work that truly fits you.

I’m ending this offer at midnight (you’ll need to register with Esalen before then, by calling 831-667-3000) on Wednesday, January 13, so take action now. You’ll be glad youve done this for your career, your sanity, your body, your mind, and your spirit!

Oh, so how do you get the free coaching session? All you need to do to get that benefit is to email a note to tell me that you’ve paid for the workshop through the Esalen Institute. Drop a  me a note at info @ workfromwithin.com by December 31 to get this wonderful bonus.  To register for the workshop, simply go to this link for workshop details, and you can either register online, or you can can call the Esalen Institute at 831-667-3000 from 9 am – 7 pm Pacific Time Monday through Friday, or 9 am to 5 pm Saturday & Sunday. Or click here for more contact information at Esalen.

If you are craving clarity about what’s next in your career, and you want to get back in touch with yourself and craft work that truly fits you, then, I’d love to have you join us in beautiful Big Sur for this workshop.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the workshop, and I’ll be happy to help you see if it’s a fit for you.

Happy to give YOU your gift…as you discover your own inner gifts!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

On Monday, a close friend confided in me: “I can’t seem to get started with work today. I’m so caught up in remembering all the parties I went to, all the cool people I met, all the sleeping late that I did, and I feel really draggy.” She seemed pressed to change her situation.

I do understand. I spent part of my break in a dance workshop at the Esalen Institute, and it was soooo relaxing (FYI, did you get my gift to you of 16 seconds of serenity, from Esalen, where I’ll be teaching a workshop on Crafting Careers That Truly Fit from January 15-17, 2010?). Going back to the emails and client sessions and planning was a whole different energy.

Back to my friend (and this has been important for me, too). I reminded her that many, many people take the last week of December off from work. They catch up with friends, putter around the house, reminisce about good times over old photos, and generally move at a different rhythm compared to their working lives.

Work has its own pacing, and it’s generally different from the ways we would live our lives if we didn’t work. We go to meetings on time (hopefully), we answer emails and phone calls (typically as they arrive, even if that’s not optimal for productivity), and largely operate in rhythms that have to do with meeting deadlines (why don’t they call them life-lines?).  This is quite different than who we are during vacation time.

So, if you’re having a tough week of getting back to work, and find yourself daydreaming, should you beat yourself up? Well, that’s optional. In fact, I’d say it’s unnecessary. Instead, I want to offer a compassionate reframing. I encourage you to think of the qualities you felt in yourself during vacation.  Perhaps you experienced fun, joy, ease, play, or some other characteristics. I invite you to consider how you felt during vacation, and jot down a few adjectives to describe your inner state.

Then, look over that list of adjectives and ask yourself, “What could I start, stop, or continue doing in my work that would allow me to cultivate that quality?” For example, if you experienced a great deal of fun during your vacation, you might want to add that quality at work. A few ways to do that: Take a “play” break with your colleagues. Make finishing each of your daily tasks into game, and see how fast or how easily you can do them. Create a friendly competition with a co-worker.

Instead of berating yourself for wanting to re-experience all the great aspects of your vacation or free-time away from work, I encourage you to consciously cultivate those qualities in your work. You might even write a few of those meaningful words, like “Joy, Ease, Play” on a card or sticky note, and post them where you can see them at work, as a reminder that you want to live life with those attributes.

I’d love to hear what happens when you honor yourself in this way at work this year. Drop me an email at info @ workfromwithin.com or reply here on the blog.

Happy 2010!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

Being a creative spirit, I wanted to come up with something innovative and wonderful to share with all of my blog readers as a New Year’s gift.

So, while I was relaxing at the gorgeous Esalen Institute (in Big Sur, California) an innovative idea popped into my mind. I could give each of you the gift of serenity, by sharing 16 seconds of the sound of the roar of the Pacific Ocean crashing against the high cliffs where this transformational destination exists.

May I make a suggestion to help you enjoy this fully? Let out a few breaths with a deep sigh. Allow your body to be like a ragdoll, loosening up whatever tension you can, without forcing yourself to do something that your body is not yet prepared to do. Just allow yourself to feel however you feel. And then, simply take some deep breaths into your belly, and push the “play” button.

You can use this any time you need a sanity break, a new perspective, or a quick mental “getaway” trip.

And, if you like what you see, I invite you to the Esalen Institute as a destination to plan your career future, January 15-17, 2010.  You can hang out in a hot tub, and listen to this amazing ocean, and see the waves crashing, during your breaks from the workshop I’ll be teaching, “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit: How to Work from Within.” It’s a great way to start the New Year with a new career direction.  I’d love to see you there.

And wishing you a peaceful, serene New Year,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

I admire the people who come to the workshops I facilitate, like the Crafting Careers That Truly Fit workshop that I’m teaching at the relaxing Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California from January 15 to 17, 2010. It takes courage to face your frustrations with work that doesn’t fit, bravery to get clear about what you want instead, and faith to pursue a new direction. And yet that’s the space that I hold for people, to be able to have a breakthrough, to release work that no longer works, and to truly embrace a new, more inspiring trajectory. I love doing it…and it gets results.

So, what about those results? What happens for people when they go through a workshop like Crafting Careers That Truly Fit? Well, let me share with you a note that I received very recently from a participant in the October 2009 offering of that workshop.

“Dear Susan,

I wanted to let you know that I had a great experience at your workshop and am so glad I went.

Being unappreciated, overworked and underpaid is draining and discouraging and I was at a real low point in my confidence and self worth.

I had a couple of interesting epiphanies during the workshop, but doing one of them in particular not only gave me back my sense of self but completely surprised and delighted me. I never realized or I guess acknowledged my own skills, talents and accomplishments and I couldn’t believe how many I had.  So many things that I contribute and am great at. The experience filled my heart with light and pride. I walked away with the realization that I felt/feel really good about myself and my abilities deep in my heart and not being acknowledged or appreciated at work doesn’t change that.

Real, true internal validation in the purest sense is priceless.

It was also really recharging for me to be around you and all the amazing people in the workshop and spend time focusing on myself.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

This note warms my heart. I am so, so, so happy for the participant who wrote it. It’s true that “being unappreciated, overworked and underpaid is draining and discouraging,” and yet people settle for mediocre working situations all the time. It does take energy and effort to move out of these situations. The Crafting Careers That Truly Fit workshop is designed to:

• Help you not only become aware of what’s not working — but to transform those elements into what you truly desire.
• Give the opportunity to discover how to move from a draining career to an energizing career, and you’ll get directionally clearer on what that career might be
• Bring together your skills, talents, and abilities to form new possibilities for work
• Redefine work in a way that’s truly meaningful, uplifting, and actionable
• Get you unstuck and moving in a direction that truly fits for you

I’d love to have YOU (yes, you!) join this workshop. If you have questions, please feel free to email me at Info @ WorkFromWithin.com or contact me through the Work from Within website.

And, as a early-bird special bonus for you – if you register with Esalen for this workshop before January 1, 2010, I’ll give you a free coaching session and a deck of the Get A Move On! cards, worth over $250! Be sure to read the details of this offer, and contact Esalen (or call them at 831-667-3000) to sign up for the workshop TODAY! Take action now, so that you ensure your space. It’s a great way to start off 2010 with a new confidence about your career, your self-esteem, and your future.

Come join us & craft work that truly fits YOU!
Susan

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

Are you the kind of person who likes to start the New Year off making resolutions? Even if you’re not, you may be thinking, “You know, it’s time for me to get out of this crappy job and find something much, much better. You deserve it. If you’re feeling burned out or frustrated with your work, and you’re craving more meaning and fulfillment, it’s clearly time for a change.

But how do you actually make that career (and life) change?

Over and over again, people tell me, “I’ve taken career assessments (like Myers-Briggs) and I’ve done the exercises in What Color is Your Parachute? but I’m still stuck. I can’t seem to get moving!” Typically, they feel like something’s wrong with them. But that’s not it.

It can be hard to get moving when you feel stuck in your work. I know. I’ve been there. After my first year in management consulting, I knew it wasn’t for me. But it took me another four years to leave. I didn’t trust my instincts. I thought I was a wimp if I left — damnit I was going to muscle it out and stay, to prove myself to my colleagues. I wanted to show them that I was as good as them, as smart as them. In retrospect, that all sounds silly. But at the time, I was focused on how much effort I had put into getting into the job, including earning an MBA. I was “addicted” to the salary, the prestige, and even the frequent flyer miles (which were nearly impossible to use, because I had so little time to myself). Doing work that I was good at — but never really loved — well, I’d become an expert at that. Numbing myself out was so much second nature that I grew to expect the pounding migraines that seemed to come with working 80 to 100 hours a week.

When you do work that doesn’t fit for you, when you have to morph your true self to go to work every day…this takes a toll. You lose touch with yourself. You know you need to get out of the toxic environment, but you can’t seem to figure out what you want to do next. Or, if you know what you want to do next, you worry that you’ll never find or, or that you’ll wind up penniless or poor doing it.

So, let me share the good news!  If it’s time for a career change, and you can’t seem to get started, or you can’t seem to get clear on what’s next, there’s a way for you to get back in touch with yourself. And, you can do it in a gorgeous, relaxing setting, with an expert facilitator of transition, me, Dr. Susan Bernstein. OK, so I’m not exactly being humble here! And, you can get a special benefit just for reading this blog post.

January 15 – 17, 2010, just after the New Year, and just before the Martin Luther King holiday, I invite you to join me for “Creating Work That Truly Fits for You: How to Work from Within” at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur California. You really can plan your career future in a hot tub on the Pacific Ocean. OK, well, the workshop itself isn’t taught in the hot tubs, but you can visit the tubs between workshop sessions, and you can also eat delicious food, take morning movement classes that will truly wake you up, and you can indulge in massage as an added bonus.

And, to sweeten the experience, if you register for the workshop before January 1, 2010, I’m offering you a free 50-minute coaching session that you can use by February 28, 2010, PLUS a deck of the Get A Move On! cards I created, to help you get unstuck. That’s over $250 worth of bonuses! 

All you need to do to get that benefit is to email a note to tell me that you’ve paid for the workshop through the Esalen Institute. Drop a  me a note at info @ workfromwithin.com by December 31 to get this wonderful bonus.  To register for the workshop, simply go to this link for workshop details, and you can either register online, or you can can call the Esalen Institute at 831-667-3000 from 9 am – 7 pm Pacific Time Monday through Friday, or 9 am to 5 pm Saturday & Sunday. Or click here for more contact information at Esalen.

I’d LOVE to help you get clear about your future career. Imagine how great you’ll feel If you have questions about the workshop, please feel free to contact me.  I’d love to welcome you to the workshop and help you get clear. And, it would be great to sit in the hot tubs and chat with you during the breaks. What better, more relaxing, inspiring way to start your new year with a new, uplifting direction for your career and life?

So, sign up for the workshop NOW, and get your FREE 50-minute coaching session with me AND a deck of the Get A Move On! cards. Remember, you only have until December 31 to get this benefit, so call Esalen now at 831-667-3000 and register!  See you there!

Each week, I’m  blogging about a different card from the Get A Move On! deck of cards. This week, I’ve chosen to share some wisdom about the card Smile.

I was in no mood to laugh. A friend had called to tell me she lost all her investments. I thought I had a speaking engagement, and it was canceled at the last minute, and since I hadn’t anticipated it, I lost out with no recourse. I looked out the window onto a grey, gloomy day and rain was coming down in sheets. I felt like the soggy pile of leaves that was collapsing in front of my house. How was I supposed to be upbeat and positive to support a client who would be calling in 10 minutes for her coaching session?

I imagine you’ve been in a crummy mood before.  So, when you’re feeling low, what can you do to shift out of it?

One answer is to smile.

Over the past 10 years many studies have demonstrated that our emotional state is highly correlated with the activity in our facial muscles. Scientists Fair and Schwartz have reported that research participants who are asked to imagine positive images have stronger responses in their zygomatic muscles than those who depressed patients who imagined negative images. Zygomatic muscles are basically the muscles that make you smile. Scientists have also found that people can lift their mood by smiling for 60 seconds or more, provided it’s a natural smile (not a Cheshire cat grin!)

Better yet, when subjects in the lab were made to laugh or smile naturally, their positive brain wave activity tended to be higher than when they forced themselves to smile.

So, what did I do to lift my mood on that grey, icky day? I stood in front of a mirror, and smiled as naturally as I could, as I imagined having a great connection with my client. “Crows feet” emerged, those little tell-tale lines at the side of my eyes that indicate a natural smile. And, after activitating those muscles, like a workout, I felt better. Part of the reason that works?   A genuine smile increases the production of serotonin, which is also known as the “happiness hormone.”

I’m happy to say that the 60 seconds of smile therapy worked – my gloomy mood brightened, I was able to connect with my client, and the day hummed along a lot better.

So, try some “smile therapy” to shift your mood.  And post a reply here to let us know what happens for you!

: )

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

I recently had the pleasure of speaking on a panel at the Haas School of Business regarding  managing your career in these tough economic times. On the panel were Mark Coopersmith, Haas adjunct professor of entrepreneurship and innovation; Lauren M. Doliva, managing partner with executive search firm Heidrick & Struggles, and Martha Gerhan, an independent consultant with more than 20 years of experience in sales and marketing for technology companies.

I asked the audience, a group of Haas and general Berkeley alumni, to raise their hands to indicate which of three categories they fit into: (1) Looking for advice on techniques for getting a job in this economy, (2) Seeking ideas on how to create more meaningful, fulfilling work, or (3) Learning how to be more flexible in their work through contracting or consulting.

So, which one was most popular? I was surprised that nearly two-thirds of those attending were interested in topic #2, creating more meaningful, fulfilling work. I’ve encountered lots of people feeling fear and anxiety about the future, so I expected that to be most of the audience.  I was wrong.  Hmm, maybe those wanting topic #1 didn’t want to admit that’s their situation. But as much as I support people in finding work that truly fits for them, I was pretty dazzled that people care about that.

I shared lots of ideas about how to create and find work that aligns with what maters most to you, including a lot of career clarifying activities that you’ll find on the CD “Creating Work That Fits,” and then I was excited to hear Mark Coopersmith talk about finding work that overlaps in three areas:

Passion: You have energy and excitement about doing these activities

Expertise: Your skills, talents, and abilities allow you to do this work

Economic opportunity: There’s a need or demand; in some way, you’re solving a problem, and people are willing to barter or pay money for your solution

Too many people either look for a job for the money (sole or major  focus on economic opportunity) or they spend years building expertise (more education, promotions), but they overlook passion, and they wonder why they feel empty. Do you feel entitled to love your work? Maybe it’s time to do so. Do you worry that turning a so-called “hobby” or “extra-curricular activity” into work will pollute your enjoyment of that activity? Perhaps there’s an alternative perspective.

If you’ve already been considering the three dimensions of passion, expertise, and economic opportunity, but still not landing on a career or constellation of vocational activities that feels right for you, I’d also invite you to consider one additional dimension:  contribution.

When I consider people who truly craft their “work from within” and BOTH listen to themselves AND take into account a bigger picture, they are focused on making a positive contribution. When we rise above doing things just for ourselves, or just for our family and friends, and seek to make a difference in a larger realm (for example, perhaps you want to inspire people, or you want to improve life for animals, or solve a medical problem), we often feel filled (ful-filled) because we are able to have a bigger impact. As the author of The Translucent Revolution, Arjuna Ardagh encourages in a recent posting:  “Dedicate your creativity to something beyond yourself.”

When you consider this even sweeter spot, what are you inspired to do as your next step?

Best wishes to you for finding your sweet spot,

Susan

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com