“I wish my company would pay for more training for me.”

I hear that all the time.

Have YOU ever said that?

If you have, your wish is the reflection of a great employee. You’re the kind of employee who wishes for chances to do something so normal and natural – grow.

But alas, those golden hey-days of receiving training as a perk seem to be disappearing. Gone are the days when employees regularly stayed at companies for ten or more years. Gone are the days when no one had to talk about “loyalty” because it was just implied. And it seems we’ve say goodbye to the times when companies had rich budgets for developing their employees, and corporate universities flourished.

I forecast that those days are gone. Perhaps forever, although I’m a big believer in “never say never.”

Companies are reluctant to pay for your training because they don’t know how long you’ll be around. Here’s why:

FIRST:  As the pace of economic and technological change keeps getting faster and faster, companies need to be more and more nimble to respond to market demands. This means more and more reorganizations and layoffs, especially for larger companies to stay nimble and meet business challenges. Still, it’s no fun to be pushed out of the company where you feel a sense of belonging.

For example, last week, I spoke with a former client whose company is converting from web-based to mobile-applications. The organization is desperate to hire new employees with experience creating mobile applications. Unfortunately, those employees on the non-mobile side of the business are being moved to new jobs or downsized.

SECOND:  Spurred on by rapid economic and technology shifts, the average tenure of employees, at least in the US, has been dropping since 2000, with the exception of 2008-2010. And that “blip” reflects employees holding on to their jobs through the recession, even if they’ve been unhappy.

What does this shorter tenure within companies mean?
Unfortunately, it means your company is less likely to invest in your growth.

Look, I don’t actually think the lack of investment in you is a wise move on your company’s part. But company psychology works something like this:  The vast majority of organizations foolishly figure that if you’re going to be leaving soon. So they balk at paying for an investment, like training, that can walk out the door.

I disagree with companies’ short-sighted thinking (especially because more and more employees are hungry for training, and companies can make courses and development experiences an attractive perk). But more and more frequently, I hear people pining for more assistance from their companies to take courses, but being denied. Sigh.

So if you care about growing and developing, it’s up to YOU to invest in yourself. That means reading books, taking online and in person classes, and going to conferences to keep yourself current.

You might argue:  “Well, when I get training, especially related to my job, that benefits my company, so they should pay for it.” Yes, of course, it’s worthwhile to ask your company to cover the cost. That’s a very legitimate expense. But some companies just won’t fork over the dough.

So, if your company won’t pay, are you going to forgo the chance to learn new skills that will benefit you for the long run?

My encouragement is to see yourself as an entrepreneur, even if you’re working for a company.

The enterprise you run? Your career. A good entrepreneur invests for the future. Sure, they try to get whatever they can at a discount. So perhaps you can ask your company to pay for a portion of your training.

As an entrepreneur, you realize that the money that you invest is very likely to pay dividends. Of course, you want to be thoughtful about the skills you are developing. If you’re a graphic artist, then learning the latest version of Adobe Creative Suite makes sense. But if you’re building your accounting skills, that kind of software is not likely to advance your professional career. But by all means, if it’s fun for you to learn that, then do it. The happier you are in life, the more those benefits translate to work. Being well-rounded just feels good.

What have you been hungry to learn in your career? Do you want to gain more fluency in the language of business? Are you jones’ing to make a good impression with your speaking and presentation skills? Maybe you want to overcome the fear of a more general professional skill, like networking?

Whatever skill, talent, or ability you want to develop, the great news is that when you invest in yourself, you take the knowledge with you wherever you go. So even if your company unceremoniously and without warning gives you a pink slip, they may get to keep your company-issued laptop, but they can’t take the education and training out of you (unless your talking about some sci-fi movie with mind erasing, like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind). What you learn is yours to keep.

Also, when you keep learning, you open yourself up to new employment opportunities. How?

1.    You can do some projects on the side with your new skills.
2.    You can make yourself a freelancer (and freelance employment is growing at more than twice the rate of traditional employment).
3.    When you keep an updated list of your skills on your LinkedIn profile, you increase the chances that recruiters will find you
4.    When you take training classes with others (instead of online) or learn at venues like conferences, you vastly increase your chances of meeting people who can offer you a new job or gig. Sweet!

So, what skills are you most excited to learn next?
And what are you doing to build those skills (oh, and enjoyment)?

PS – If you want to build some skills around creating work that fits, building your job search confidence, or interviewing for jobs more effectively, check out the digital downloads I created:

Creating Work That Fits | The Job Seeker’s Confidence Kit | Interviewing Authentically

I love simple tools and techniques that I can use to get out of a difficult or upsetting mood and into feeling better, even joyful. Don’t you?

Well, if you’re into feeling better, fast, I’ve got an ear-to-ear grin as I share this TED video of Ron Gutman, an expert on wellness who founded WellSphere and is currently CEO of Silicon Valley-based HealthTap.

Did you know that smiling is a predictor of long-term well-being? If you haven’t smiled lately, go hang out with some kids, because, on average, they smile 20 times more per day than adults.

One smile can generate as much pleasure as 2,000 bars of chocolate. No kidding! More great facts on smiling in this video. So enjoy!

Smiling your way,

Inside, I fume whenever I hear people tell me they hate their work. Even if I hear someone complain about it on the bus or an airplane or walking down the street, my impulse is to interrupt their conversation and demand to know, “Why do you live your life this way?” Don’t worry. I rarely do that! But I must speak out. Recently, one evening, frustrated beyond belief, the words below flew out of my fingertips and onto the page. I wrote a draft manifesto, a way to make known my point of view on the issue of work satisfaction.

This is a draft, and I seek YOUR input. I want to add more fury and passion and perhaps even justification for my cause, my mission. And that mission is to help you bring out the best of you in the work that you do. We need your power and passion and the fullness of your abilities in the workplace. I don’t care whether you work for a gigantic corporation, a teeny non-profit, or your own venture. I’m “profession neutral,” meaning I don’t find any profession or industry better than another. What matters to me is that you come alive in your work.

If you care about my mission, to encourage you to bring out the best of you in the work that you do, I have a request. I want you to do two things:

(1) Respond to this blog post with your comments on this draft manifesto. I’m really curious to know how you react and respond to what I’ve written;

(2)  Share your answer to the question at the bottom: “How are you going to play a bigger ROLE and bring out the best of you in the work that you do?”

Thank you for helping me in my mission to help you — and many, many others — bring out the best of you in the work that you do.

The Draft Manifesto:  Bring Out the Best of You in the Work That You Do

I am sick of hearing people say they hate their work, especially when they say they are just doing their work to collect a paycheck, but they’re checked out. It irks me when they blame their company for their misery. Or when they say that unless the boss fixes things, they are stuck in crummy work. It really upsets me when these people assume that they are powerless to change their circumstances. I really don’t understand the point of doing work you don’t care about, that’s meaningless to you, and saying, “I’ll just suck it up” while you suck the life energy right out of yourself.

That more than sucks. That’s dangerous.

You heard me.

Dangerous.

It’s dangerous for you to do work that sucks the life energy out of you. When you spend all day feeling stuck, boxed in, and blocked at work, then you’re taxing your heart. And your gut. And your head. Can you say heartache? Stomach ache? Headache? Because your body’s talking and telling you that you feel bored and frustrated and tired and cranky. And then you take that heavy energy home to your family. Or maybe you’re single and at the end of yet another awful day in the workplace, you don’t have a shred of energy left after work to go hang out with your friends. Or you’ve suffered yet another day of boredom at work. So find yourself in a persnickety mood on the drive home, fuming mad at the boss or your lousy clients. You feel all righteous — hah! — as you cut off a fellow driver on the highway. It’s not what you really wanted to do, deep down. You let out your pent up anger about work in an unproductive, harmful way. When you allow yourself to do work that sucks, you can make yourself sick – emotionally, psychologically, and physically. Work that doesn’t fit you can kill you.

Bad work doesn’t just suck for you. . It’s contagious. Everyone around you feels your pain. Amazingly, tons and tons of people continue to “suck it up.” And “tough it out.” And “stick with it,” rationalizing that, heck, this crummy work pays the bills.

Yes, but what if you were doing something you loved? What if you bringing out the best of you in the work that you do? How might your life be different?

Really, what if you could do activities you love, with people you enjoy, for a purpose that matters to you, and for decent pay? Just what if? If it were possible, what would change for you?

I bet you’d be happier. I bet you’d feel more alive and vibrant. I bet you’d be a lot nicer to a lot of people. Especially yourself. Oh, and if we all did work that made us feel truly alive, think of the cool products that would be invented. And the cool performances that people would give. And the fantastic care and support that people would show. And the amazing creativity that would be expressed. If only we didn’t all hold back. The true sense of meaning and fulfillment that would be unleashed.

Wouldn’t it be cool if, from the moment you were born, people told you, repeatedly, “Do the work that brings out the best in you. And you’ll have abundance, too.”

Well, what if it’s possible to create that life for yourself starting now?

It is.

But you can’t play small. You have to play a bigger role.

I’m talking about a bigger role as in capital R.O.L.E., for “Return On Life Energy™.”

In other words, you’ll bring out the best in you when you maximize your ROLE™, your Return On Life Energy. It’s actually pretty simple. You want to minimize your energy Drains and maximize your energy Gains. Playing a bigger ROLE is about ditching your energy Drains, the processes and practices and places that sap you and zap you and tap out your energy. And about growing your energy Gains, the things that feed you and fuel you.

So, for example, if you can’t stand repetitive, monotonous work, drop it or stop it, or at least do less of it. And turn around. No, don’t spin in circles. But use the Drains like a compass. Feel each Drain, and sense the way Drains steal your life energy. And point yourself in a better-feeling direction, to your own personal north. If repetitive work has you navigating in the wrong direction, turn it around. Maybe your Desire is to have more variety in your work. OK. So ask for it. Or create it. Don’t just settle for those energy Drains. Turn around your Drains, and pursue your Desires instead.

And those energy Gains, the things you love to do? You want more of those, right? Maybe one of your Gains is working with cool clients. OK! So, what kind of “cool clients” do you desire? What who are fun to talk to? Ones who let you use lots of your creativity? Articulate your Gains as Desires, the way you really want them to be. Like you’re putting in your request at a fine restaurant, where your food is cooked to order. Be clear about what you want, the way you want it, and you’re more likely to get it, especially if you ask nicely.

If you transform your Drains and Gains into Desires, and you take action to make your Desires into reality, you’ll be playing a bigger ROLE in no time. You’ll rev up your ROLE, your Return On Life Energy, and you’ll love your work. And your life.

The power to bring out the best in you is not in anyone else’s hands but your own. That power is not outside of you. You are in charge of your ROLE. The power is within you to play a bigger ROLE.

I hope you will make a choice, right now, to play a bigger ROLE. To love your work. It’s good for you. And those around you, too.

Tell the world how you are playing a bigger ROLE. Shout it out. Spread the word. It’s time to rock your ROLE and bring out the best of you in the work that you.do.

So, I ask you, how are you going to play a bigger ROLE and bring out the best of you in the work that you do?

If you’re looking to claim expert status in your industry or topic, I want to share with you information about a program from one of my mentors, Brendon Burchard who created EXPERTS ACADEMY, which I joined earlier this year – and it was one of the BEST investments I have ever made. Really.

I don’t usually share resources like this. But Brendon has really helped me to clarify my message. And to get clearer about how to be of service. And he’s truly inspired me to a bigger vision for how Work from Within can be helpful to more people. In fact, if you saw the video I created for the Hay House Movers & Shakers program, I used two tools that he mentioned. One is the use of my personal story (Cheryl Richardson & Reid Tracy talk about this, too). The other is use of frameworks, like Maximizing Your R.O.L.E., your Return On Life Energy.

I can’t say enough great things about Brendon and his ability to make you an expert. His energy and sincerity are real. He’s incredibly wise about sharing your message for impact and income. If you’re wanting to be an expert on YOUR topic, check out this video. You’ll be asked to sign up and you’ll get full access to an amazing set of videos to make you an expert.

Brendon is opening the doors to his EXPERTS ACADEMY program for a very limited time, because he makes room so he can help just enough people. To find out about EXPERTS ACADEMY, visit this link: http://bit.ly/susanexpert

I’ll be totally transparent and tell you that this is an affiliate program, and I do get credit if you sign up through me. Of course, if you don’t feel comfortable with that arrangement, you can sign up with Brendon directly. But, if you do ultimately pay for the EXPERTS ACADEMY through me, I will give you an iPod Touch 8GB, so you can listen to great music, play games, take pictures, and use the fun FaceTime application. I’ll mail it out to you after your first 30 days in the Experts Academy program, as my special gift to thank you (if you pay in 3 increments, you’ll get this after your third payment).  So if you’d like to sign up through me when you pay for Experts Academy and get your iPod touch, go to http://bit.ly/susanexpert

I have loved the Experts Academy program, and have learned SO, SO much. If you have questions about the program, email me at info (at) workfromwithin (dot) com and I’ll happily answer them!

Way to go, Expert!

Susan

PS – This is a very giddy me after a recent event with Brendon Burchard…no, that’s not him…that’s a big banner of him…and I got the red necklace from a very generous woman I met at this Experts Academy event. Fun!

How do you get out of your head? One of my favorite ways to “take the elevator down” from my cerebral cortex to my toes is to DANCE! I especially love freeform movement. In contrast to the systems and processes required to run my own business, I crave outlets that let me get out of my head and into my body.

So, in August, I boogied down to the Esalen Institute, a personal development retreat center on the rugged Big Sur coast for a workshop of Soul Motion with my gracious and graceful teachers, Zuza Engler and Scott Engler. I moved and grooved, sweated profusely, and got in touch with my heart in a big, juicy way. (By the way, I’m teaching a workshop there December 5-10! Check it out on their calendar )

And, as I always seem to do at Esalen, I connected with great people. One of them is Mary Pinozotto, who is a total original. One day, Mary asked our group to help her film a video. I was feeling emotionally tender that day, so I hid from the camera. But I was intrigued over dinner, as she edited the video to post the next day. I asked her what she was doing.

“Oh, I’m recording one dance video every day.”

What!?! That’s pretty amazing. Where does she get inspired? What keeps her going? I was intrigued. She told me about dancing at Wal-Mart. And with Hells’ Angels. And in nature. And in so many different ways. Short dance. Long dances. And then the artistry of editing all of these.

Well, of course I asked to interview her for this blog. Here’s a woman who’s following her heart and her art. As she says in the audio interview I had with her, she’s becoming the person she’s dreamed herself to be.

To me, when we move, we change. Mary is in the flow of change, and I hope you’ll listen to her wisdom if you are in a place of transition, and craving a more authentic, creative life.

Listen to my interview with Mary

I hope you’ll enjoy the interview, with some key highlights about:
- moving emotions out and through the body; the metaphors in movement (I know about that from the Get A Move On! cards)
- dealing with money, and cherishing what you have
- increasing your ability to learn notice new things
- dedication and staying with something with discipline; sinking your teeth in
- listening for the creative inspiration

I’ve also posted a few of Mary’s amazing dance videos. Do they make you want to get up and move your body? C’mon! It’s OK. Go ahead! Join the dance!

Video 1: About the Freebox Blog

Video 2: To Sheryl Crow’s I Shall Believe


Video 3: From a Hafiz poem

I hope this inspires you!  If you want to view Mary’s blog, The Freebox, visit http://thefreebox.wordpress.com/

Wishing you delicious rhythmic journeys,

Susan

Today, I was reading an article in The Economist about the employment situation in the US and extension of unemployment benefits. By all accounts, it’s not pretty.

But what really got to me was a picture of a man wearing a t-shirt with the words “I need a job.”  No, it’s not the picture here (look at the article to see the sad face of the man wearing it; the photo is copyrighted, so I want to be respectful). Let me help out the artist who created this particular t-shirt and send you to the link where you can buy that t-shirt.

I looked at this guy and thought, “He needs a different kind of job.”

He needs a J.O.B.

In other words, he needs a Jolt Of Belief.”

As I see it, if you are between jobs, you could benefit from a few beliefs:

(1) The belief of others. In other words, knowing that other people believe in you. If you are seeking your next work opportunity, ask people you care about to tell you, “I believe in you.” And ask them to give you at least three concrete reasons why they believe in you.  It’s a free way for them to help you. Take in what they say. And notice how good it feels.

Suggested Activity: Ask a good friend to tell you “I believe in you.” Go on. Do it. Now. Yes. Really.

Hey, if you’re reading this, and you know a job seeker, be proactive. Tell that person why you believe in them. You’ll make their day. I promise.

(2) The belief in yourself. It can be tough, day after day, to get up and seek work. Since we live in a country where we often define ourselves by the work we do, it can be awkward, humbling, and vulnerable to be without a job. Not that it’s a crime. Not that we should be working all the time, especially if that work means knocking ourselves out.

No, I just want to say to you, if you are in job search mode: “Believe in yourself. Find that place within you, no matter how teeny tiny it seems, that trusts and knows that all will work out. And just focus on that. Magnify that. Nurture that small spark of belief in yourself, because it will grow.”

Suggested Activity: Read the paragraph above to yourself at least three times a day. Out loud. In the mirror. And watch for magic.

(3) Belief in the interconnections in the world. If you’re seeking a job, you have a set of skills, talents, and abilities. What if you knew that what’s innate in you was the answer to the problems to at least a few people or organizations in the world? What if they were hungry to find you, even if they didn’t yet have a job posted? What if right now, they were hoping and wishing for someone just like you? Would you feel better?

We DO live in an interconnected world. And if you allow yourself to open to the idea that you are a perfect match for someone or some company, what happens? Do you feel lighter? More hopeful?

OK, I imagine you saying, “Yeah, but I have really specialized skills.” Or you might say, “My skills are a dime a dozen. I’ll be competing with the whole world.”

Let those negative ideas go. For now. They don’t serve you.

Suggested Activity: Engage your active imagination. Imagine shaking hands with a future employer. Look around at your new workplace. See your new co-workers and their smiling, welcoming faces. Do this for at least five minutes every day. And watch what happens. You might be pleasantly surprised to find new employment possibilities opening up for you.

(4) Belief in something bigger than yourself. Whether you call that God, Allah, Krishna, Buddha, The Universe, My Higher Power, or whatever…surely, some force created the world in which we live. Can you allow yourself to believe that you exist for a reason, even if you have no idea what that reason is? And if you embrace that idea, even for a second, does it not follow that you are here to do good, to use your talents? Or are you wedded to the idea that you have all these gifts, these abilities that you want to use at work, and that you’re just being mercilessly tortured and taunted, and being held back from using them? If you believe that, perhaps you’re wounded at a deep level. Perhaps at a young age, you were made to feel worthless. If that’s the case,  my heart goes out to you. But I’m here to tell you that you are far from worthless. You are deeply valuable. Whatever this entity or energy is that is bigger than you…let’s call it the “collective consciousness” for now…well, it wants you to connect to others. It wants you to share your gifts.

Suggested Activity: This is a little experiment for you: What if you have a conversation, aloud, in your journal, or from your heart, with this Higher Power, this bigger-than-you energy? And you ask it to reveal to information about where you are to be matched. Where your ideal placement is, for now. Your ideal colleagues, your ideal organization. You might get that information in a magazine you read. On a billboard you see. In an idea that pops in your head in the shower. What if you allow this Higher Power to guide you, and you trust your heart as you see signals, signs, and little (or big) clues to follow.

Hey, this idea is like chicken soup:  It can’t hurt. And it just might help. Really. I’ve seen it help.

So please, if you say “I need a job,” take a moment and rephrase that. Ask for a JOLT OF BELIEF. Ask others to tell you they believe in you. Take a moment to believe in yourself. Believe in the interconnectedness of our world and how that means you’re bound to find where you’re needed. And believe in a higher power, and ask for its guidance.

I believe in you!

Susan

PS – Notice that I don’t call people who are between jobs “UNemployed.” If you happen to be without a job right now, please read my blog post about avoiding the “UN”  word. You’ll save yourself agony, and you actually might just increase your chances of landing a job!

I have a confession.

I’ve been a stress case.

That’s hard to admit. Especially since I work with people to help them come alive at work. I do love coaching people, on a one on one basis, about their work. And I’ve been feeling more and more confident about my ability to help people truly light up at work. My head and heart both trust the effectiveness and transformational value of  the unique ways that I help people to conceive of work that fits them. So now, I’m quite hungry to expand my reach and impact so I can touch more people. That has meant teaching more group programs, writing, speaking in as many venues as possible, and influencing larger groups. Doing all these new activities has involved learning how to use webinar software, getting on the phone to talk to organizations and businesses about helping them, discovering how I can best describe what Work from Within is all about, and generally stepping out in the world in a much bigger way. Most of the time, learning these new skills and approaches to marketing Work from Within and my philosophies and practices has been fun. But it’s time consuming, and I’m prone to rush myself and demand results (dare I say, money) rather quickly. I’ve been impatient for success. I want it on my timeline, darn it!

All this effort lead me from stress toward burnout. I started recognizing the shift from becoming angry and frustrated at my circumstances to feeling resigned. For example, I would try to learn how to use webinar software, and somehow I’d lose my participants into the Internet ether (oops!). I’d feel enraged at the software and embarrassed at not being a perfect presenter. Then the nasty voice of Little Miss Perfect would scream in my head, and I’d berate myself for not getting familiar enough with the tools I needed to make the webinar hum along.

Over the course of a few months, I started to think: “I just don’t know what I’m doing. I’m not a celebrity yet, like Oprah or Suze Orman. Who am I to help people learn to come alive at work? I’ve been running Work from Within for five years. So why am I not on TV yet? Why haven’t I written a book, let alone published it? What am I doing wrong? Maybe I should just give up…”

My body began to feel heavy as a boulder, sluggish as a slug, mentally foggy like the June Gloom that hangs over the Pacific Coast, and downright stomp-my-feet-and-shake-my-fist irritable.  I remembered the difference between stress and burnout. Stress is about feeling over engaged and anxious. When you hit burnout, you’re likely to become disengaged, hopeless, and depressed. I was headed for the latter. After weeks and weeks of this experience, a lightbulb went off in my head:  Perhaps my ideas about failing and taking too long to make an impact aren’t true. Maybe I’ve been seeing my circumstances through a distorted lens, a narrow angle.

I resolved to shift my energy. I’m all about maximizing Return On Life Energy (ROLE), so I knew I needed to take action to build up my energy stores. I started with getting checked out by the practitioners at the Acupuncture and Complementary Medicine clinic in Berkeley, because I love that Chinese medicine is all based on life energy (which the Chinese call qi, and which Indians call prana). It’s been a process of replenishing my energy stores. I’ve gone from depletion to stagnation to amplification to expansion. Instead of feeling exhausted and irritable, in the course of six weeks, I’m now feeling mellow, flowing, and full of ease. And filled with gratitude for my life and the beauty in the world, sensing the joy of simple things, like the warmth of the mug of my wild sweet orange tea to the playful chatter of the birds in my magnolia tree.

Something else that helped my renewal, something counterculture:  I decided to follow my body’s instinct for rest. I booked a retreat at one of my favorite places on the planet, the Esalen Institute, on the Big Sur coast (I’ll be teaching a workshop at Esalen from December 5 to 10), with it’s warming sulfur hot springs, the crash of the waves of the Pacific Ocean against high cliffs, and the magical landscape with its rainbow of flowers, stands of gracious trees and cradle of rugged mountains.

To renew myself sense of self, I enrolled in an Esalen workshop with performance artist extraordinaire, Nina Wise, who created a practice called Motion Theater, a form of autobiographical improvisation. To me, learning Motion Theater was like finding self-transformational storytelling. Our group of ten women played theatre games (like forming ourselves into shapes and riffing off each others stories), meditated (in creative ways, including with singing), stretched, danced, and learned to tell our personal stories, rich with detail and grounded in sensory experience. Most importantly, the combination of verbal and non-verbal activities re-started my energy. By immersing myself fully in play and presence, I got back in touch with myself. Hallelujah!

If you find yourself sliding into stress, catch yourself and find your antidote. And if you’re slipping into burnout, or you’ve already landed there, stop pushing yourself. Your body, mind, spirit and emotions are telling you that what you’re doing needs to shift. It’s time to give yourself a break for relaxation, restoration, renewal, rejuvenation.

Based on my week at Esalen, and my personal discoveries, I’d like to share some suggestions for shifting out of stress and burnout and back into your essence, your true self, the quiet internal place that is you, no matter what.  Please feel free to take only what feels good, and trust your intuition to modify any of these ideas so they fit you:

Rest. I can be a work machine. That go-go-go behavior got ingrained in me during my tenure in management consulting, when I sometimes worked 80 to 100 hours a week. These days, I think that’s insane. It’s all push, no pull. In other words, I used to make myself do work, rather than feeling drawn or inspired to do it. When we’re stressed, we often push ourselves hard. But that push, push, shove, move forward, go, go, go energy is only one way of being. You are not a machine. You cannot keep up an unrelenting pace indefinitely. Staying up late, working around the clock, denying yourself breaks…this is a recipe for a breakdown. Instead, give yourself the gift of rest. Of doing nothing. Or doing only those things that are pleasurable. Not just satisfying, but truly nourishing. Make the choice to feed yourself what you truly want, which very well may be peace and quiet.

Relax your efforts. Before taking this retreat, I had been working for months without a break, staying up until 11 or 12 at night to reply to emails, plan a workshop, update my website. So much effort! In physics, effort equals work. But work — as in your career, your livelihood — need not be full of hard effort, at least not all of the time. Notice how hard you are trying, and reduce the effort. Here’s one way to do this: Start by doing something that comes very, very naturally to you. Like walking. Or talking on the phone with a friend. As you’re doing this easy, natural activity, become aware of your body and where you hold tension and tightness. Then, do an activity that you don’t do so easily. Not the hardest thing, but something that you have to pay attention to do, and where perhaps you have less skill. Like for me, that’s riding my bike downhill. I have to concentrate. I’m afraid I’ll fall. I can do it, but I have not yet mastered it. How do you feel, in your body, when you do this activity that you’re still mastering? Where are you tight? Where are you loose? Your clamped jaw, your shoulders that come up near your ears…these are all signs of added effort. What can you say to yourself (like “I’m starting to get the jist of this”), and how can you modify the activity (like doing less of it, or only a portion of it, or slowing it down) and particularly your expectations of yourself (maybe telling yourself “It’s OK to be a beginner, and to make mistakes”), so that you can feel more ease?

Reconnect with people who care about you. I’ve been going to Esalen for nearly a decade now, so in that time, I’ve made a lot of friends there. Having them ask about me, getting to spend time with them, catching up…these are all nurturing. I feel seen and appreciated by people who know me. In times of stress and burnout, we need to have people around us who will support us. Who might you like to have around you to support you? You might call a friend and ask to have an hour to just share what’s happening. You could get some friends together and have a “dump your problems in the garbage” ritual, writing down what’s bugging you, reading your list aloud with feeling and emphasis, and then ripping up your list and throwing it in a collective trash can or fire. Then, make a resolution to do one thing, just one for now, that can make you feel better. And report back to the group when you’ve done it, either in person, by email, or by phone. Connect to yourself by connecting with others who are willing and able to help you regain yourself.

Spend time in nature. The rhythms in nature tend to be so different than our man-made mechanistic rhythms of cars and traffic and TV show and meetings and all the scheduled, pre-planned activities, and the constant onslaught of information. Nature is slower, organic, cycling and shifting. Nature is not like the airbrushed superstars we see in magazines and attempt to emulate. It’s raw and honest, the apple that has been pierced by a worm looking for food, the jagged leaf that’s asymmetrical, the birds that do not fly on a preordained flight plan like airliners but flit from tree to tree as they feel called to explore and as the need arises for food and shelter. Nature reminds us to slow down, to get back in touch with our innate instincts and impulses, to trust the flow of life. Immerse yourself in Nature’s rhythms, and you’re bound to have your own reflected back to you.

Turn down your mind and turn up your innate, embodied impulses. When I’m being very verbal — even if it’s replying email — I’m up in my head. And if you’re anything like me, your head can be a dangerous playground, with the broken carousel of repetitive negative thoughts and the teeter totter of self-talk alternately flinging you between self-aggrandizement and self-deprecation. I often tell people to “take the elevator down,” suggesting that they move from their heads to the rest of their bodies. Give yourself time to explore and play non-verbally. Perhaps you will put on music and just move your body in whatever ways feel good, without thinking of the moves you’ll make. You could shake your body like a ragdoll for a few minutes and shake out the cobwebs. You might slither on the floor like a snake and then roll and ooze. You could move your hands like they are talking, which is an activity Nina Wise suggests in her book,  A Big New Free Happy Unusual Life. Listen to what you need, what feels satisfying, and nurture yourself the way a mother nurtures a baby: with touch, rhythm, and movement.

Open your heart. When we’re stressed our burned out, often we’ve neglected our hearts. We are so hell-bent on achieving success, so determined to do what’s right and good, so focused on making money or getting that promotion…and our hearts are suffering from being left out of the conversation about our needs. Needs? Hah, we think, it’s needy to have needs. No, actually, it’s not. Our heart’s desires deserve our attention. Set aside 10 to 15 minutes. Get quiet and put a hand on your heart. Ask your heart, “what do you need?” Be patient, and listen to the answers. Write them down. Follow the most compassionate or most nourishing replies first, like the ones that tell you “Give yourself a hug.”

In every moment, you can add ease and joy to your life by reducing the effort, doing what feeds you, and reducing the activities and situations that deplete you. Bit by bit, day by day, your practice of minimizing your energy drains and maximizing your energy gains will deliver you into a life and livelihood that works for you. That way of living does not come from being hard and harsh with yourself, but rather from relaxing, restoring, renewing, rejoicing, and rejuvenating, as needed. It’s just what the doctor ordered.

Love from Dr. Bernstein!

Susan

Are you fed up with your work? You know, frustrating colleagues, angry managers, ugly offices, unreasonable deadlines, massive bureaucracies, never-ending meetings…these things can drive you crazy.

Well, you’re not alone! Have you noticed that other people around you just want to throw in the towel at work?

I say “ARGH!” (Not very articulate…just ultra frustrating!)

World at Work recently reported on a study by The Conference Board:
The report, based on a survey of 5,000 U.S. households conducted for The Conference Board by TNS, found that only 45% of those surveyed said they are satisfied with their jobs, down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year in which the survey was conducted.

“While one in 10 Americans is now unemployed, their working compatriots of all ages and incomes continue to grow increasingly unhappy,” says Lynn Franco, director of the Consumer Research Center of The Conference Board. “Through both economic boom and bust during the past two decades, our job satisfaction numbers have shown a consistent downward trend.”

So, what’s causing this frustration with work? My answer may surprise you.

I don’t think it’s just that we have crummy managers and unattractive offices. It’s not just that tasks can be boring.

The big reason I believe job satisfaction tends to be low:  We give our control for our careers over to other people.

I talk to hundreds of people about their work every month. And when I ask them, “How did you come to be doing the work you’re doing?” I hear over and over again:

• I fell into my work
• I stumbled into my work
• Someone (my boss, my parent, my spouse) told me I should do my work
• Someone told me I shouldn’t do the thing I really love
• I figured that if I did what I love, I’d be a starving… (you fill in the blank…artist, musician, chef, etc.) so I just gave in and did something to pay the bills

Are you guilty of one of these? I was. My first week of college at the University of Arizona, I called home (a collect call, on the dorm’s hallway payphone) to my father and told him that I’d declared a major.  “What did you declare?” my dad asked.  “Psychology!” I exclaimed, breathlessly excited. I knew my passion. I’d be studying it.

Then came the silence. I waited. And waited. And waited for my father to say something. “Dad? Dad? Are you still there?” I begged to know, panicked about his lack of enthusiasm.

“Susan, you’ll never make any money until you get to the PhD level.”

Those words were sufficiently frightening to me, at the tender age of 18, to send me in a new academic direction. I studied Economics and Marketing. I sacrificed my passion for money. I did that for most of my career. And slowly but surely, the life energy was draining out of me, until finally, in 2001, I decided that I didn’t want to be a 70 year-old woman before I studied my first love. I wasn’t 100% sure what I’d do with my studies, but my heart was calling to me.

We so often leave our hearts out of our decisions about our careers. This is a recipe for disappointment. Work will ultimately become a dirty four-letter word if your heart’s not in it.

What can you do about increasing your job satisfaction?

1. Take back control. Instead of surrendering your control to well-meaning friends, co-workers, managers, spouses, family members, listen to your heart.

Ask your heart:

• What are you needing more of?
• What are you hungry for?
• What do you truly want to express to the world?

Be patient. If you’ve not listened to your heart in a long time, it may be shy or reluctant to share. Or, it may be itching to talk to you. Get a journal and write down whatever comes. Trust your heart. Listen to your gut. Then, put your mind in the service of your heart (and your gut, and all your inner wisdom, even in your little pinky toes).

2.  Take baby steps. Most of us try to make change too quickly, honestly. I know, I know, we feel like we’ve gotta have that new job now. Or we have to make everything all better in one felt swoop.

I would ask you:  What’s ONE thing you could try out doing differently this week? Here are some ideas for first steps:

• Frustrating colleagues? Plan a conversation to clear the air and start fresh. Put it on the calendar. Then prepare by reading about a subject like Marshall Goldsmith’s non-violent communication so you have a model for communicating effectively.
• Angry manager? Read a great book like Douglas Stone & Bruce Patton’s Difficult Conversations so you know how to talk to your manager. Find something to do to let go of the anger, like taking a walk or writing in a private journal.
• Ugly office? Bring in a vase and fresh flowers. Put up a photo that pleases you.
• Unreasonable deadlines? Prioritize all of your projects, so you know what’s most important.Write a workplan and discuss it with your manager. If you can show that you’d need to work an incredible number of hours, look for solutions to eliminate or shorten steps, delegate portions, or create time-off after you put in a big push of work.
• Massive bureaucracies? Find experts in your organization who’ve mastered the art of getting things done – take them to lunch and pick their brains, so you learn how to do it.
• Never-ending meetings? Suggest trying out stand-up meetings as leader Bob Schoultz suggests. Most people will go faster if they’re not sitting down.

3. Believe that great work is possible. Many of us block ourselves with expressions like “work sucks” and “well, this is as good as it gets” or “I can just suffer through this.” Do you really want work that fits you? Then I believe you must craft your “work from within,” for if you do not believe, deep within yourself, that this is possible, you will sabatoge your possibilities for great work.

Great work is not just an idea. When you have great work, you embody it. So take charge, and follow your heart. Let it set your direction. And then ask your mind to help you move in that new, heart-felt direction.

With care,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Do you really, truly want work that fits for you?

What are you doing to create it?

I’ve got a great new 7-week webinar series, “Don’t Look for a Job! Create a ROLE That Truly Fits for You” that I’m offering on Wednesday nights from April 7 to May 19, 2010. Check it out at http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/

Go ahead and get a taste! Sign up for a free preview call to learn more about that webinar. The free call is on Wednesday, March 3, 6-7 pm Pacific. Get all the details at  http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/#1

I love to give gifts! With or without fancy wrapping paper and bows, it’s the thrill of watching people’s faces and watching their smiles, hearing their excitement, and just generally being around delight.

Well, I would like to give YOU a gift. If you’re thinking about attending the “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit” workshop I’m teaching from January 15-17, 2010, at the gorgeous Esalen Institute, in Big Sur, California, I have an added bonus when you register:

Register by Wednesday, January 13, and you will receive a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me after the workshop. You can use the session up until February 28th, 2010. If you had to pay for this out of pocket, it would cost you $135, so think of it either as a $135 discount, or a great added value. Most importantly, I trust that this session will help you to accelerate what you discover during the workshop, so that you’ll be able to make your next career move with more calm, clarity, and courage.

So, let me share with you about what you’ll learn and discover in this interactive workshop:

• You’ll illuminate what’s important in your future career
• You’ll replace ill-fitting social norms about “work” with visions of what you truly desire
• You’ll brainstorm ways to create meaningful work
• You’ll get clear about your next steps to pursue work that truly fits you.

I’m ending this offer at midnight (you’ll need to register with Esalen before then, by calling 831-667-3000) on Wednesday, January 13, so take action now. You’ll be glad youve done this for your career, your sanity, your body, your mind, and your spirit!

Oh, so how do you get the free coaching session? All you need to do to get that benefit is to email a note to tell me that you’ve paid for the workshop through the Esalen Institute. Drop a  me a note at info @ workfromwithin.com by December 31 to get this wonderful bonus.  To register for the workshop, simply go to this link for workshop details, and you can either register online, or you can can call the Esalen Institute at 831-667-3000 from 9 am – 7 pm Pacific Time Monday through Friday, or 9 am to 5 pm Saturday & Sunday. Or click here for more contact information at Esalen.

If you are craving clarity about what’s next in your career, and you want to get back in touch with yourself and craft work that truly fits you, then, I’d love to have you join us in beautiful Big Sur for this workshop.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the workshop, and I’ll be happy to help you see if it’s a fit for you.

Happy to give YOU your gift…as you discover your own inner gifts!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

On Monday, a close friend confided in me: “I can’t seem to get started with work today. I’m so caught up in remembering all the parties I went to, all the cool people I met, all the sleeping late that I did, and I feel really draggy.” She seemed pressed to change her situation.

I do understand. I spent part of my break in a dance workshop at the Esalen Institute, and it was soooo relaxing (FYI, did you get my gift to you of 16 seconds of serenity, from Esalen, where I’ll be teaching a workshop on Crafting Careers That Truly Fit from January 15-17, 2010?). Going back to the emails and client sessions and planning was a whole different energy.

Back to my friend (and this has been important for me, too). I reminded her that many, many people take the last week of December off from work. They catch up with friends, putter around the house, reminisce about good times over old photos, and generally move at a different rhythm compared to their working lives.

Work has its own pacing, and it’s generally different from the ways we would live our lives if we didn’t work. We go to meetings on time (hopefully), we answer emails and phone calls (typically as they arrive, even if that’s not optimal for productivity), and largely operate in rhythms that have to do with meeting deadlines (why don’t they call them life-lines?).  This is quite different than who we are during vacation time.

So, if you’re having a tough week of getting back to work, and find yourself daydreaming, should you beat yourself up? Well, that’s optional. In fact, I’d say it’s unnecessary. Instead, I want to offer a compassionate reframing. I encourage you to think of the qualities you felt in yourself during vacation.  Perhaps you experienced fun, joy, ease, play, or some other characteristics. I invite you to consider how you felt during vacation, and jot down a few adjectives to describe your inner state.

Then, look over that list of adjectives and ask yourself, “What could I start, stop, or continue doing in my work that would allow me to cultivate that quality?” For example, if you experienced a great deal of fun during your vacation, you might want to add that quality at work. A few ways to do that: Take a “play” break with your colleagues. Make finishing each of your daily tasks into game, and see how fast or how easily you can do them. Create a friendly competition with a co-worker.

Instead of berating yourself for wanting to re-experience all the great aspects of your vacation or free-time away from work, I encourage you to consciously cultivate those qualities in your work. You might even write a few of those meaningful words, like “Joy, Ease, Play” on a card or sticky note, and post them where you can see them at work, as a reminder that you want to live life with those attributes.

I’d love to hear what happens when you honor yourself in this way at work this year. Drop me an email at info @ workfromwithin.com or reply here on the blog.

Happy 2010!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com