Do you ever dream of having your own radio talk show?

Well, I confess, that’s one of my dreams. I’d have a call-in show on a big radio station. I’d listen to people’s problems about wanting better work, about dealing with stress on the job, about figuring out how to make important work-related decisions, and about how to project more confidence to colleagues and clients. Gosh, that would be so much fun, to help people, one-by-one,  shape their success. At work, we often lack guidance for how to be ourselves and have an impact in the world. People might call me the “Suze Orman of Careers,” although I find her a bit grating. I’d have more of a dose of my smiling high energy, like the woman I resembled in the 1980s, gymnast Mary Lou Retton. Well, maybe a little less cute. A bit smarter. I do have an MBA and a PhD, after all.

Well, I’m moving in that direction, creating plans for a radio show down the line. Sure, I could create one right now, on a channel like Blog Talk Radio, on which I’ve been a guest. However, my aspirations are bigger. XM Radio or Sirius, or maybe CBS. And TV? That would be great, too.

For now, I want to give you the best of me, Dr. Susan, through my blog and website. It’s a great way to get myself ready for a radio show. Besides, I get asked tons of career-related questions every week, and I realize how often I want to share the advice I give one person with a whole bunch of people.

So, I’m excited to welcome you to use the Work from Within blog to ask YOUR questions. And I can answer them. My intention is to respond to at least one question weekly, and be as helpful as I can, sharing what it means to “work from within,” and helping you to achieve the calm, clarity, and confidence that’s possible when you listen to and trust your embodied intelligence.

Do you want to ask a question? Go ahead!  Here’s the link:  http://www.workfromwithin.com/resources/askdrsusanthanks/

C’mon, Ask Dr. Susan! I promise to be kind, supportive, and upbeat. I’d love to read your questions…and, of course, answer them.

Are you fed up with your work? You know, frustrating colleagues, angry managers, ugly offices, unreasonable deadlines, massive bureaucracies, never-ending meetings…these things can drive you crazy.

Well, you’re not alone! Have you noticed that other people around you just want to throw in the towel at work?

I say “ARGH!” (Not very articulate…just ultra frustrating!)

World at Work recently reported on a study by The Conference Board:
The report, based on a survey of 5,000 U.S. households conducted for The Conference Board by TNS, found that only 45% of those surveyed said they are satisfied with their jobs, down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year in which the survey was conducted.

“While one in 10 Americans is now unemployed, their working compatriots of all ages and incomes continue to grow increasingly unhappy,” says Lynn Franco, director of the Consumer Research Center of The Conference Board. “Through both economic boom and bust during the past two decades, our job satisfaction numbers have shown a consistent downward trend.”

So, what’s causing this frustration with work? My answer may surprise you.

I don’t think it’s just that we have crummy managers and unattractive offices. It’s not just that tasks can be boring.

The big reason I believe job satisfaction tends to be low:  We give our control for our careers over to other people.

I talk to hundreds of people about their work every month. And when I ask them, “How did you come to be doing the work you’re doing?” I hear over and over again:

• I fell into my work
• I stumbled into my work
• Someone (my boss, my parent, my spouse) told me I should do my work
• Someone told me I shouldn’t do the thing I really love
• I figured that if I did what I love, I’d be a starving… (you fill in the blank…artist, musician, chef, etc.) so I just gave in and did something to pay the bills

Are you guilty of one of these? I was. My first week of college at the University of Arizona, I called home (a collect call, on the dorm’s hallway payphone) to my father and told him that I’d declared a major.  “What did you declare?” my dad asked.  “Psychology!” I exclaimed, breathlessly excited. I knew my passion. I’d be studying it.

Then came the silence. I waited. And waited. And waited for my father to say something. “Dad? Dad? Are you still there?” I begged to know, panicked about his lack of enthusiasm.

“Susan, you’ll never make any money until you get to the PhD level.”

Those words were sufficiently frightening to me, at the tender age of 18, to send me in a new academic direction. I studied Economics and Marketing. I sacrificed my passion for money. I did that for most of my career. And slowly but surely, the life energy was draining out of me, until finally, in 2001, I decided that I didn’t want to be a 70 year-old woman before I studied my first love. I wasn’t 100% sure what I’d do with my studies, but my heart was calling to me.

We so often leave our hearts out of our decisions about our careers. This is a recipe for disappointment. Work will ultimately become a dirty four-letter word if your heart’s not in it.

What can you do about increasing your job satisfaction?

1. Take back control. Instead of surrendering your control to well-meaning friends, co-workers, managers, spouses, family members, listen to your heart.

Ask your heart:

• What are you needing more of?
• What are you hungry for?
• What do you truly want to express to the world?

Be patient. If you’ve not listened to your heart in a long time, it may be shy or reluctant to share. Or, it may be itching to talk to you. Get a journal and write down whatever comes. Trust your heart. Listen to your gut. Then, put your mind in the service of your heart (and your gut, and all your inner wisdom, even in your little pinky toes).

2.  Take baby steps. Most of us try to make change too quickly, honestly. I know, I know, we feel like we’ve gotta have that new job now. Or we have to make everything all better in one felt swoop.

I would ask you:  What’s ONE thing you could try out doing differently this week? Here are some ideas for first steps:

• Frustrating colleagues? Plan a conversation to clear the air and start fresh. Put it on the calendar. Then prepare by reading about a subject like Marshall Goldsmith’s non-violent communication so you have a model for communicating effectively.
• Angry manager? Read a great book like Douglas Stone & Bruce Patton’s Difficult Conversations so you know how to talk to your manager. Find something to do to let go of the anger, like taking a walk or writing in a private journal.
• Ugly office? Bring in a vase and fresh flowers. Put up a photo that pleases you.
• Unreasonable deadlines? Prioritize all of your projects, so you know what’s most important.Write a workplan and discuss it with your manager. If you can show that you’d need to work an incredible number of hours, look for solutions to eliminate or shorten steps, delegate portions, or create time-off after you put in a big push of work.
• Massive bureaucracies? Find experts in your organization who’ve mastered the art of getting things done – take them to lunch and pick their brains, so you learn how to do it.
• Never-ending meetings? Suggest trying out stand-up meetings as leader Bob Schoultz suggests. Most people will go faster if they’re not sitting down.

3. Believe that great work is possible. Many of us block ourselves with expressions like “work sucks” and “well, this is as good as it gets” or “I can just suffer through this.” Do you really want work that fits you? Then I believe you must craft your “work from within,” for if you do not believe, deep within yourself, that this is possible, you will sabatoge your possibilities for great work.

Great work is not just an idea. When you have great work, you embody it. So take charge, and follow your heart. Let it set your direction. And then ask your mind to help you move in that new, heart-felt direction.

With care,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Do you really, truly want work that fits for you?

What are you doing to create it?

I’ve got a great new 7-week webinar series, “Don’t Look for a Job! Create a ROLE That Truly Fits for You” that I’m offering on Wednesday nights from April 7 to May 19, 2010. Check it out at http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/

Go ahead and get a taste! Sign up for a free preview call to learn more about that webinar. The free call is on Wednesday, March 3, 6-7 pm Pacific. Get all the details at  http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/#1

If you grew up in the United States or England, then when you were a kid, you must have been asked a zillion times, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” How did you feel about that question? Did you love hearing that question? Did you hate it?

In my heart of hearts, I want to scream when I hear parents, teachers, and adults ask kids “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

“What do you want to be when you grow up?” is an incredibly dangerous question to pose to innocent children.

“Dangerous?” you say. If you could see me, you’d look at me sideways. Yes, I imagine you think I’m nuts. How in the world could an innocent question like “What do you want to be when you grow up?” be dangerous? Dangerous? Really?

OK, let me show you. Can remember back to when you were between 5 and 12 years old? Great. Then think back. When people asked you, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” what was your answer?

I wanted to be an orthodontist. My brother wanted to be a policeman or a fireman or an airplane pilot. One of my closest friends, Karen, wanted to be a secretary.

The thing is, most people don’t turn out to be exactly what they thought they’d be when they were kids. (If they did, we’d have a glut of astronauts and movie stars).  I am a career coach (always looking for a better title, so sometimes, I call myself Coach/Author/Speaker or Life/Work Transition Expert). My brother is an attorney, and a former concert tour manager. And Karen is a webmistress of sorts, if there’s even a good way to describe the freelance work she does to ensure websites look great.

There’s a very interesting study that relates to all of this. The BBC reports that back in 1969, when they were 11 years old, 14,000 British schoolchildren were asked to write 30-minute essays predicting what they might become when they were age 25, as part of the 1958 Birth Cohort Study.

This longitudinal study followed these children to the present, so that they are now in their 50’s. One thing that did hold: of those with professional aspirations at age 11 – with dreams of being professionals with advanced credentials, like a veterinarian, a lawyer, or an architect – more than half did indeed end up entering professional occupations, even if their eventual career wasn’t quite the one they had had in mind.

For example, there’s Bruce
At age 11, Bruce wrote about his 25-year-old self: “I work for a Newspaper as a journalist. I am quite a successful journalist and earn quite a lot of money. I wish to be an author when I am older and write several books… I hope to be quite wealthy later in life when my books are published.”

He’s not a journalist, nor has he written any books. He’s an interim manager for a number of information technology (IT)  projects, has achieved good financial success (so he’s wealthy by his own account), and owns home both the UK and United States.

Sure, people did go on to do some of the activities that they said they’d do…

Kim’s story
At 11, Kim imagined a life revolving around travel – working with the animals in Africa, and studying the aardvark and the warthog. Her essay ends ambitiously: “I plan to see the whole world before I die and maybe to see the Moon beneath my feet.” Please note, Kim didn’t name a profession, like “flight attendant” or “travel agent.” She described what she wanted to do.

According to the BBC story, Kim’s life has followed that pattern. At 18 she went to Greece, Italy and other parts of Europe. She fell in love with an Australian, married and travelled the world together. After seven years in Australia, the couple returned to the UK and they now have three children. Kim still dreams of travel. “My husband is so stressed at work that all he can think of is getting a recliner and Sky sport. All I can think of is getting into a camper van and taking off. I’d quite like to throw all my cards up in the air. I’ve had long enough of working 9-5.”

Anne’s aspiration: Hairdresser
Anne imagined her 25-year old self: “It was a Monday and off to work. I work in a hairdresser, and looking for a shop – when I have saved up some money I will buy one.”

When she reached college age, a move prevented Anne from studying what she had intended, so instead, she reluctantly joined a bank. Opportunities were limited, and she could only aspire to attain the level of first cashier, because at the time, there were no female bank managers.

Those are just three stories of people who did not become what they’d aspired to as children. The comments from readers about this BBC article are especially interesting. A woman who regretted not becoming a doctor. A would-be astronaut who became an accountant. An environmental manager who had hoped to be a veterinarian.

OK…So why, then,  is it so dangerous to ask a child “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Here’s my take on things…

(1) It over focuses on one professional title

The desired response to the question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” is the name of a profession. A title. Like butcher. Or baker. Or candlestick maker.

And you know what? Those titles are limiting. It’s a bit like telling a kid, “You know, you have to go find just the right thing, the right title. You don’t yet have any working experience, so you don’t know the world of titles. But still, you should find one.

The thing is, how do you describe what you want to do, when as a kid, you’ve not yet had a lot of life experience? Maybe, maybe, you’re lucky, one of those people who just knows what you want to do all along. I wasn’t. I wanted to be an orthodontist. Why? Oh, truth be told, probably because I had a crush on my orthodontist! But I wound up changing careers multiple times, and when I wanted to integrate my business experience with my PhD in mind/body psychology,and wanted to help people in career change to really get in touch with what their hearts and guts were telling them, I didn’t really know what title to give my work. Body-centered career coach? Transformation agent? I’ve settle on “career coach,” but quite frankly, I hate the title. “Coach” often feels too “rah-rah,” and “career” feels too limiting.

So, the bottom line:  Titles get in the way. It’s better to ask a kid “What kinds of activities would you like to do in the future?” And if you just have to ask what a kid wants to be, how about asking what kind of a life he or she wants to live, like “I’d like to be a really caring person, who takes an interest in the people around me, and I’d like to make time in my life to ski at least a few times every winter.” Ah, that’s about who you really want to be, as in the kind of person you want to become. Your character, your activities. Not just the name of your profession.

(2) No one knows what the names of professions will be 10 or 20 or 30 years or more into the future

Really. Even 10 years ago, if you had put the words “social, media, and expert” together, what would they mean? What is a social media expert, anyway? Where do you go to school for that? What’s the certification like?

The point is, you don’t go to school (at least yet). You don’t get a certification. That title didn’t exist even 10 years ago. So asking a kid to predict the future is a bit like asking the kid to become a psychic. Perhaps psychic skills are nice to have, but those are not fostered in school. It would be better to ask a kid about the constellation of activities he would like to do. What seems fun and exciting and energizing? What maximizes

(3) Why put so much pressure on kids to know what profession they’d like to be a part of in the future?

Please. Childhood is to be enjoyed. We put way too much pressure on kids to know their futures. For goodness sakes, parents worry about getting their kids into the right preschools, so that Junior can be sure to go to Harvard. And then the kid has to take violin lessons, be on the basketball team, get top grades, and do everything to worry, worry, worry about being perfect. In someone else’s mind and mold. In Silicon Valley, one of the leading high schools in academic rankings, Gunn High School, has seen a rash of suicides. The pressure to perform and to have some seemingly “ideal” future is just too high.

When we learn to choose our future through pressure, we push, push, push ourselves. When we do that, we can’t feel the pull of what really grabs us. If you’re constantly working hard, how can you relax enough to listen to your heart and know what you really want?

Can you imagine what our world would be like if we trusted kids (and adults) to sense their desires by just relaxing, chilling, and listening to their hearts? Personally, I believe we’d have less stress, more creativity, and more enjoyment.

So…

Do you agree that it’s dangerous to ask kids “What do you want to be when you grow up?” What might we ask instead?

How did that question impact YOU as a kid?

How has that question impacted your life as an adult?

Wishing you a joyful career,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – If you’re trying to decide “what’s next” (or, dare I say,  “what do you want to be when you grow up?”) I think you’d love the 7-week webinar series, “Don’t Look for a Job! Create a ROLE That Truly Fits for You” that I’m offering on Wednesday nights from April 7 to May 19, 2010. Check it out at http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/ and sign up for the free preview call at http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/#1

Did you know that your heart has true wisdom?

Let me share my geeky side with you to explain this, OK?

My doctoral research examines the role that body awareness (what I now call Sense-Ability™) plays for people undergoing major career change. I examined many ways of “knowing” that reside outside the brain. One of the pathways of wisdom comes from  heart intuition.

It’s very exciting to me that science has begun to point out the value of drawing awareness to our heart energies. The Institute for Heartmath, in Boulder Creek, California, has focused its energies on the intuitive power of the heart.

A team of their scientists conducted a study to examine the process by which intuition, which they defined as “information normally outside the range of conscious awareness” is perceived by the psychophysiological systems of the body.  The study attempted to demonstrate that the body can respond to an emotionally-arousing stimulus seconds before it is actually experienced.

In the study, 26 participants were shown 30 calm images and 15 emotionally arousing images.  Each participant viewed the images under two states.  The first state was under normal psychophysiological functioning.  The second state was under what’s known as physiological coherence, a state in which participants’ heart rhythms were entrained to a rhythmic regularity, with the assistance of a visual heart-rate monitor and verbal instructions.  In order to investigate where and when in the brain intuitive information is processed, measures were taken of skin conductance, electroencephalogram (EEG) activity, and electrocardiogram (ECG) cardiac accelerations and decelerations.

A number of results were derived from the study.  I’ll highlight just those that are most relevant:

First, the heart appears to receive and respond to intuitive information.The researchers link this finding to the fact that the electromagnetic field of the heart is about 60 times greater in amplitude than that of the brain, and the magnetic component of the heart is approximately 5000 times stronger than the magnetic field of the brain.

Second, heart rate deceleration increased when future emotionally stimulating information was presented (as compared to calm stimuli). This fact can be linked to research showing that our brain rhythms naturally synchronize to our heart activity.

From the study, the research hypothesized that prestimulus information is received in the body’s psychophysiological systems and is processed in the same way as conventional sensory input, such as touch.  In other words, our body “knows” before our brain registers that knowing in cognition. According to the researchers, this would tend to argue that our bodies perceptual systems are constantly scanning the future.  In other words, the body (and the heart in particular) has the ability to predict—or at least prepare for, at some level—future states.

The HeartMath researchers propose that “the heart’s field acts as a carrier wave for information that provides a global synchronizing signal for the entire body.” This vantage point would support the intelligence of listening to your heart in the midst of career transition. Why? Your heart literally in-forms (gives shape to) the activity of the body as a whole, which includes your mind.

So, not just on Valentine’s Day, but year-round, I encourage you to trust your heart. It’s got real wisdom.

With love,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Hey, I’m opening up my heart to you! I’d like to offer you a 20% discount code on EVERYTHING in the Work from Within store, from now through February 15, 2010.  To get the discount, click on any item you want to buy in the Work from Within store. You’ll be taken to a checkout screen. Simply enter the code ” LOVE2010″ in the Coupon Code field (on the left, below the name of the product you want) and then hit the “apply” button. You’ll get 20% a discount on all the items in the Work from Within store. And, you can buy as many of the items as you like.

Last night, I went to the gym. I almost didn’t feel like I had a choice. The non-stop rain here in the Bay Area is getting to my mood. Sorry, but I grew up in the Phoenix area. Still have desert blood in me. So when the clouds hang low, dark, and gloomy, I find it harder to stay upbeat. Getting my endorphins pumping gives me a boost of positive energy for at least 8 hours.

I heard the rain pick up at about 5:40 pm, and knew I needed to dash to my car to make the 6 pm spin class. With no traffic, the drive takes me 10 minutes, but in rush hour, it can be 15, and even 20 with bad weather. So I grabbed my backpack, filled it with biking shorts, a tank top, and a pair of socks, and figured I’d change in the dressing room.

Because the spin room holds only 20 bikes, you have to grab a number if you want a bike. I arrived and grabbed number 20. Whew. I’d made it. I was safe.

I changed my clothes, and then went to grab my running shoes (I still haven’t bought biking shoes, the clip in kind, despite some advice that I’d get more out of the class). “Where are my sneakers?” Hmm…oh…crap!

In my rush to get out of the house, I neglected to bring appropriate shoes. No, I was not going to try to bike in a pair of knee-high boots. Argh! My blood pressure started to rise. Just then, my friend Catherine walked up. She was leaving the gym. She wondered why I looked so steamed. I had not been in the sauna — the flush on my face was the tell-tale sign of anger. Catherine told me she would have given me her running shoes to wear, but she had been swimming and didn’t have any. I laughed at the thought. My shoe size is 4 1/2, but I can wear a 5. Hers is 8. Hmmm….

“Hey, why don’t you borrow my shoes?” came a voice moving around the corner. A very gracious woman, Michelene, offered her size 6 Sauconys. “You can cycle in these.” I realized I didn’t need perfect fitting shoes for pedaling, especially with the toe cages on the bike. I couldn’t believe her offer. My feet don’t get that smelly (well, the scent is just perfume to me…yeah, right…), but I was just incredulous. Michelene was firm and supportive, “I know how hard it is to not work out. Please, borrow these. You can leave them at the front desk and I’ll get them tomorrow night.”

“Wow, wow, thank you. OK, yes, having some shoes for the bike would let me get my sanity back. What can I do to thank you?” I asked.

“Just pay it forward.”

I think I had the most idyllic spin class, ever. I was high as a kite, fueled by the generosity of a stranger. I joined my gym because I found it more like a community, not just a place to sweat. Michelene proved to me that community works. She must know something about being a team player. I asked her for her business card so I could be in touch and thank her, and it turns out that she’s the Director of Sales & Finance for Parties That Cook. I was floored. I know about her amazing company. One of my clients has been dabbling in culinary explorations, and I suggested she check out Parties That Cook, which puts on corporate team building cooking events — they cook up camaraderie!

But I digress.

When I finished the spin class, I changed clothes and went to the front desk, “I have a very important favor to ask of you,” I told Julie, the assistant who manages the guests. After conveying what had happened, and how important that it was that the shoes stay at the front desk until Michelene picked them up, rather than going to the lost and found bin. Julie beamed and said, “You made my day with that story. I’ll call Michelene and let her know, right now, that her shoes are safe. That’s so generous of her. Wow, that’s really incredible.”

I know. I feel it in every bone in my body, every inch of my tissue. My heart is uplifted and is pumping much more smoothly. My head is clear.

Thank you, Michelene, for your kind spirit. You made my day.

Yes, I’ll happily pay it forward. And remind my dear readers to do so, too.

Hoping you’ll help someone else step up and make their best moves,
Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

I love to give gifts! With or without fancy wrapping paper and bows, it’s the thrill of watching people’s faces and watching their smiles, hearing their excitement, and just generally being around delight.

Well, I would like to give YOU a gift. If you’re thinking about attending the “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit” workshop I’m teaching from January 15-17, 2010, at the gorgeous Esalen Institute, in Big Sur, California, I have an added bonus when you register:

Register by Wednesday, January 13, and you will receive a FREE 30-minute coaching session with me after the workshop. You can use the session up until February 28th, 2010. If you had to pay for this out of pocket, it would cost you $135, so think of it either as a $135 discount, or a great added value. Most importantly, I trust that this session will help you to accelerate what you discover during the workshop, so that you’ll be able to make your next career move with more calm, clarity, and courage.

So, let me share with you about what you’ll learn and discover in this interactive workshop:

• You’ll illuminate what’s important in your future career
• You’ll replace ill-fitting social norms about “work” with visions of what you truly desire
• You’ll brainstorm ways to create meaningful work
• You’ll get clear about your next steps to pursue work that truly fits you.

I’m ending this offer at midnight (you’ll need to register with Esalen before then, by calling 831-667-3000) on Wednesday, January 13, so take action now. You’ll be glad youve done this for your career, your sanity, your body, your mind, and your spirit!

Oh, so how do you get the free coaching session? All you need to do to get that benefit is to email a note to tell me that you’ve paid for the workshop through the Esalen Institute. Drop a  me a note at info @ workfromwithin.com by December 31 to get this wonderful bonus.  To register for the workshop, simply go to this link for workshop details, and you can either register online, or you can can call the Esalen Institute at 831-667-3000 from 9 am – 7 pm Pacific Time Monday through Friday, or 9 am to 5 pm Saturday & Sunday. Or click here for more contact information at Esalen.

If you are craving clarity about what’s next in your career, and you want to get back in touch with yourself and craft work that truly fits you, then, I’d love to have you join us in beautiful Big Sur for this workshop.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the workshop, and I’ll be happy to help you see if it’s a fit for you.

Happy to give YOU your gift…as you discover your own inner gifts!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

On Monday, a close friend confided in me: “I can’t seem to get started with work today. I’m so caught up in remembering all the parties I went to, all the cool people I met, all the sleeping late that I did, and I feel really draggy.” She seemed pressed to change her situation.

I do understand. I spent part of my break in a dance workshop at the Esalen Institute, and it was soooo relaxing (FYI, did you get my gift to you of 16 seconds of serenity, from Esalen, where I’ll be teaching a workshop on Crafting Careers That Truly Fit from January 15-17, 2010?). Going back to the emails and client sessions and planning was a whole different energy.

Back to my friend (and this has been important for me, too). I reminded her that many, many people take the last week of December off from work. They catch up with friends, putter around the house, reminisce about good times over old photos, and generally move at a different rhythm compared to their working lives.

Work has its own pacing, and it’s generally different from the ways we would live our lives if we didn’t work. We go to meetings on time (hopefully), we answer emails and phone calls (typically as they arrive, even if that’s not optimal for productivity), and largely operate in rhythms that have to do with meeting deadlines (why don’t they call them life-lines?).  This is quite different than who we are during vacation time.

So, if you’re having a tough week of getting back to work, and find yourself daydreaming, should you beat yourself up? Well, that’s optional. In fact, I’d say it’s unnecessary. Instead, I want to offer a compassionate reframing. I encourage you to think of the qualities you felt in yourself during vacation.  Perhaps you experienced fun, joy, ease, play, or some other characteristics. I invite you to consider how you felt during vacation, and jot down a few adjectives to describe your inner state.

Then, look over that list of adjectives and ask yourself, “What could I start, stop, or continue doing in my work that would allow me to cultivate that quality?” For example, if you experienced a great deal of fun during your vacation, you might want to add that quality at work. A few ways to do that: Take a “play” break with your colleagues. Make finishing each of your daily tasks into game, and see how fast or how easily you can do them. Create a friendly competition with a co-worker.

Instead of berating yourself for wanting to re-experience all the great aspects of your vacation or free-time away from work, I encourage you to consciously cultivate those qualities in your work. You might even write a few of those meaningful words, like “Joy, Ease, Play” on a card or sticky note, and post them where you can see them at work, as a reminder that you want to live life with those attributes.

I’d love to hear what happens when you honor yourself in this way at work this year. Drop me an email at info @ workfromwithin.com or reply here on the blog.

Happy 2010!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

Being a creative spirit, I wanted to come up with something innovative and wonderful to share with all of my blog readers as a New Year’s gift.

So, while I was relaxing at the gorgeous Esalen Institute (in Big Sur, California) an innovative idea popped into my mind. I could give each of you the gift of serenity, by sharing 16 seconds of the sound of the roar of the Pacific Ocean crashing against the high cliffs where this transformational destination exists.

May I make a suggestion to help you enjoy this fully? Let out a few breaths with a deep sigh. Allow your body to be like a ragdoll, loosening up whatever tension you can, without forcing yourself to do something that your body is not yet prepared to do. Just allow yourself to feel however you feel. And then, simply take some deep breaths into your belly, and push the “play” button.

You can use this any time you need a sanity break, a new perspective, or a quick mental “getaway” trip.

And, if you like what you see, I invite you to the Esalen Institute as a destination to plan your career future, January 15-17, 2010.  You can hang out in a hot tub, and listen to this amazing ocean, and see the waves crashing, during your breaks from the workshop I’ll be teaching, “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit: How to Work from Within.” It’s a great way to start the New Year with a new career direction.  I’d love to see you there.

And wishing you a peaceful, serene New Year,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

Since 2001, I have been relaxing and unwinding from the tensions of life by listening to the ocean and studying with great teachers at the Esalen Institute, in Big Sur, California. I had to overcome a lot of resistance and false beliefs to allow myself to visit this place that now feels like a second home for me, an inviting oasis of calm and renewal.

You see, back in the mid-1990’s, I was running around as a management consultant, flying around on airplanes like in Up in the Air, living in hotel rooms, and spending too many days in in stress-filled board meetings. During that time, I first heard of Esalen. I honestly thought it was some kind of woo-woo New Agey place, filled with people wearing tie-dyed clothes and Birkenstocks. I was scared that the people who attended this place would be hippy-dippy dropouts from life.

I was wrong. When I finally went to Esalen for my first time, at the suggestion of a dear friend and fellow management consultant, I was delighted. I was recovering from a broken marriage, poor health, a family misfortune, and the demise of the dot-com where I had worked. All that trauma happened in five weeks, and I needed a break. Esalen offers all kinds of workshops, on topics from relationships to psychology to movement, arts, and creative expression. And the setting!  Dramatically situated on the cliffs of the Pacific Ocean in scenic Big Sur, California, it offers mountains, ocean, and pure, clean air, given that it is pretty remote from any big cities. The closest major cities are Monterey and Carmel, about an hour’s drive north. This means that you enjoy a super quiet escape in nature.

Flash forward nearly nine years. After being a participant in over 12 workshops in the span of nearly nine years, I am honored to be teaching a workshop at Esalen this January, — it’s called “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit – How to Work from Within“. If you happen to be at a career crossroads, wondering “what should I do next in my career?” this just may be the workshop for you.

From January 15-17, 2010, you can join me at the gorgeous Esalen Institute, and in this interactive workshop, you will

• Illuminate what’s important in your future career
• Replace ill-fitting social norms about “work” with visions of what you truly desire
• Brainstorm ways to create meaningful work
• Get clear about your next steps to pursue work that truly fits you.

I  have a special GIFT for you! I’m thrilled to offer this workshop – and to offer a special gift to you if you register for the workshop by the end of 2009.  I’m including a 50-minute phone coaching session with me after the workshop, plus a deck of “Get A Move On!” cards.  You can get more details on this special gift here.

If you are craving clarity about what’s next in your career, and you want to get back in touch with yourself and craft work that truly fits you, then, I’d love to have you join us in beautiful Big Sur for this workshop.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the workshop, and I’ll be happy to help you see if it’s a fit for you.

Here’s to careers that fit!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

I admire the people who come to the workshops I facilitate, like the Crafting Careers That Truly Fit workshop that I’m teaching at the relaxing Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California from January 15 to 17, 2010. It takes courage to face your frustrations with work that doesn’t fit, bravery to get clear about what you want instead, and faith to pursue a new direction. And yet that’s the space that I hold for people, to be able to have a breakthrough, to release work that no longer works, and to truly embrace a new, more inspiring trajectory. I love doing it…and it gets results.

So, what about those results? What happens for people when they go through a workshop like Crafting Careers That Truly Fit? Well, let me share with you a note that I received very recently from a participant in the October 2009 offering of that workshop.

“Dear Susan,

I wanted to let you know that I had a great experience at your workshop and am so glad I went.

Being unappreciated, overworked and underpaid is draining and discouraging and I was at a real low point in my confidence and self worth.

I had a couple of interesting epiphanies during the workshop, but doing one of them in particular not only gave me back my sense of self but completely surprised and delighted me. I never realized or I guess acknowledged my own skills, talents and accomplishments and I couldn’t believe how many I had.  So many things that I contribute and am great at. The experience filled my heart with light and pride. I walked away with the realization that I felt/feel really good about myself and my abilities deep in my heart and not being acknowledged or appreciated at work doesn’t change that.

Real, true internal validation in the purest sense is priceless.

It was also really recharging for me to be around you and all the amazing people in the workshop and spend time focusing on myself.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

This note warms my heart. I am so, so, so happy for the participant who wrote it. It’s true that “being unappreciated, overworked and underpaid is draining and discouraging,” and yet people settle for mediocre working situations all the time. It does take energy and effort to move out of these situations. The Crafting Careers That Truly Fit workshop is designed to:

• Help you not only become aware of what’s not working — but to transform those elements into what you truly desire.
• Give the opportunity to discover how to move from a draining career to an energizing career, and you’ll get directionally clearer on what that career might be
• Bring together your skills, talents, and abilities to form new possibilities for work
• Redefine work in a way that’s truly meaningful, uplifting, and actionable
• Get you unstuck and moving in a direction that truly fits for you

I’d love to have YOU (yes, you!) join this workshop. If you have questions, please feel free to email me at Info @ WorkFromWithin.com or contact me through the Work from Within website.

And, as a early-bird special bonus for you – if you register with Esalen for this workshop before January 1, 2010, I’ll give you a free coaching session and a deck of the Get A Move On! cards, worth over $250! Be sure to read the details of this offer, and contact Esalen (or call them at 831-667-3000) to sign up for the workshop TODAY! Take action now, so that you ensure your space. It’s a great way to start off 2010 with a new confidence about your career, your self-esteem, and your future.

Come join us & craft work that truly fits YOU!
Susan

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com