Are you just a floating head?

I know. That’s a weird question. But it arises because I am currently reading the book, New Self, New World: Recovering Our Senses in the Twenty-First Century, by Philip Shepherd, and loving it. It’s so much about the ways that we cut off from the wisdom of our bodies, and live in our minds, not ever stopping to question that practice, just blindly accepting it. His message resonates so much for me. Like Philip Shepherd. I am committed to reawakening people to the innate intelligence of the body. It is a wisdom we know well before we are verbal, the way that newborn babies instinctively turn to hear their mother’s voice, even before they have full sight. Or the way an infant knows to cry to get attention, and an attuned mother can differentiate between the sounds of hunger, pain, and frustration.

This understanding of the wisdom of the body is getting more attention, and I am delighted. Shepherd apparently has attracted the attention of Eve Ensler, author, actress, and activist. This TEDWomen video shares her experience of awakening to her own inner wisdom, where realizes she is not just a floating head.

I love this line from her video: “For a long time, there was me, and my body. Me was composed of stories, of cravings, of strivings, of desires of the future. Me was trying not to be an outcome of my violent past, but the separation that had already occurred between me and my body was a pretty significant outcome. Me was always trying to become something, somebody. Me only existed in the trying. My body was often in the way. Me was a floating head.”

What about you? Are you just a floating head? Do you listen to your mind and ignore your body? Or diminish it’s messages?

We all need help shifting from head to whole self, so please share your experience of feeling more in your head…or more in your body…or somewhere between.

My own story of moving from floating head to being an embodied, vibrant, connected person is this: I had a wake up call to my body in the mid 1990s. About three years into my time in management consulting, I was involved in a car accident. As I drove home from San Francisco International Airport, while returning from a client engagement in Southern California, I was rear-ended by a drunk driver. Although the accident was not serious, I started getting painful migraine headaches immediately afterwards. My doctor wanted to run tests, but I would not allow it. I was determined to show how tough I could be. Even though I was completely stressed out by the nature of the work and the 80 to 100 hour work weeks, and even though I had fantasies about quitting the consulting firm, I was not going to let headaches keep me from working on what I thought was an extremely important client project! Then, two weeks after the car accident, I passed out in front of a group of clients. I literally fainted in front of them from the pain, and the project team took me to the hospital to check my health.

Clearly, I had not been listening to my body. I ignored the migraine symptoms, continuing to push through them so that I could work. I pretended I was fine. Fortunately, the managing partner of my office insisted that I follow my doctor’s orders to take a month off from work to relax and recuperate.

Deep down, I felt conflict. I wanted to demonstrate to my project team that I was as strong as everyone else, and that I fit into the culture, by continuing to work. But I also wished I could simply find work that was more fun, or that I could even stop working for a period. I lost consciousness, but that experience of fainting make me conscious of my need for work that fit me better. I moved into a role within the HR structure, running a global training operation, and loved it.

After starting a new educational program and running it for two years, I felt an impulse to take charge of my career direction, and have been incredibly proactive about seeking out new vistas that draw me in, that pull my energy, that beckon my involvement. They have included counseling, coaching, and teaching, in many ways, including online, in person, and one-on-one.

When this smart sensing capability expanded within me, I could feel my way through uncertainty, navigating more assuredly, more enthusiastically. No longer did I wait for anyone to direct me. I became more and more attuned to the innate intelligence within me, my inner guidance system. And now, I am fortunate enough to teach others to do the same for themselves. I’m not their director, I’m merely there to help guide them to their own wisdom, a boundless capacity.

Where are you residing? In your head? Your heart? Your gut? Your whole self, from head to toe?

Take a stand, and share your tale of learning to inhabit more of your head. Because certainly, we could all use more encouragement to find our whole wisdom.

With heartful appreciation,

I don’t want to be called a “career coach” anymore. I’m moving in a new direction

And I’d love to hear from you about this new direction. I thought I’d share with you, candidly, about where I’ve been, where I’m heading, and how it impacts you and your work.

For at least the last year, I felt like something was missing in my career. I sensed the impact the work I was doing with individuals in career reinvention and said, “Hmm, something feels stuck, blocked, unexpressed in me.” I felt heavy, burdened. But I also noticed something churning inside of me, cooking, baking, percolating.

Now, I’m able to articulate that element that I’ve been so hungry to share. You see, when I went back to school for a PhD in Somatic Psychology (that’s also known as “mind/body psychology”)  in 2001, my intention was to support busy mid- to senior-level professionals to be more present, more alive, more vibrant in their work, especially in the face of rapid change and uncertainty. I knew that the principles I was learning in school could help make change smoother, easier to navigate.

I was (and still am) 100% convinced that simple practices could help professionals avoid getting stuck in their head. Heck, I’d been one of those people who could never seem to shut off my mind. As a result, my body was suffering from the tension of working long hours, pushing and pushing to get through projects, barely allowing myself to rest, recover, and renew. I started to push my way through tasks, but exhausted myself. Can you relate?

Once I learned how to really pay attention to both my head and my body, I became more resilient, productive, creative, clear-headed, and confident.

And I knew I could teach people — like you — to live with these positive qualities in your working life.

But honestly, I had been coaching people in career change as a part-time job while I earned my PhD, and somehow, it became my full-time job.

Until now.

After a decade of helping people navigate their individual career transitions, I’m boldly following my original intention:

To support companies to thrive by teaching their employees powerful practices that bring out more of their potential. And in the process, I’ll be helping professionals (maybe even you?) truly come alive in their work.

With so much turmoil in the business world (heck, the world in general) now is the moment to launch this new direction. Wouldn’t you agree? I’m excited to help motivated up-and-coming professionals navigate change and uncertainty so they move to the next level of performance. I’ll be focusing on coaching high-potential current and future leaders to cultivate greater
* resilience
* focus
* decision making capabilities
* presence
* confidence

Your wisdom isn’t just in your head

You know, your wisdom comes not just from your brains, but really from your whole body.  It’s like your body acts as a monitoring or navigational device. Your senses give you information to help you find your way, especially when the road ahead is foggy or bumpy. If you pay attention, you sense the signals….”more this way…less of that…I like this…I don’t care for that”

But many of us have learned to ignore the messages of our bodies, especially at work, because our culture treats the mind as if it is superior to the body (oh, and your body does so much more than carry your brain around!)

When you leave out the information you’re getting from your senses, you are only using part of your capabilities and potential.

Get wiser with a radical idea: SmartSensing

But instead of cutting off your sense, you can learn to pay attention to your senses, trust them, and act on them That’s what I would call SmartSensing. Essentially, you make smarter choices and take wiser actions when you complement your thoughts and ideas with your sensory information.

This SmartSensing is a radical idea. It’s like overriding what most of us learn at school, in our families, and at work. We learn to ignore our body’s messages. Like when you get a headache, do you pop an aspirin? Or do you ask what’s burdening your mind and how you might alleviate it? Or it’s like meeting two prospective new employees. When you meet the first one, you get a knot in your stomach, and when you meet the second candidate, you feel light and bubbly. Do you run to take an antacid after you meet the first one? Or do you stop and ask, “What is my body telling me?”

We often dismiss the subtle signals our bodies give us. And we also miss the chance to make small changes with our bodies that open up whole new mental vistas.

Try this out, for example: When you’re stressed out, you can shake your body while you imagine your tension dropping away. With practice, you can feel a sense of relief, so that you can get back to whatever you were doing before you got stressed out. So the next time an angry colleague or a frustrated customer yells at you, try shaking off and getting back to equilibrium.

Your amazing body is not just a monitor. It’s an amazing adaptive, self-adjusting system. And you become most effective when you allow your mind work collaborate with your senses.

My new work will help you move to higher levels of performance. And a big part of what I’ll be teaching (in my coaching, workshops, retreats, and even on the Work from Within blog and newsletter) are perspectives and practices that will help you to listen to, trust, and act on the messages of your amazing monitoring and adjustment mechanism – your body. The ability to create ease, well-being, and amazing levels of performance – it’s all in your hands (and in your heart, your gut, and your whole body).

In the coming months, I’ll be letting you know about the coaching, workshops, and customized events I’ll be offering to companies, especially those who want their people to stay resilient in the face of major change. Oh, and companies who actively support their high potential current and future leaders in navigating to the next level. (If you want the early scoop for you or your company, just get in contact)

So, what do you think? How might SmartSensing help you at work? What can you imagine in terms of your emotional flexibility, your resilience, your confidence…if you listened to your body?

I look forward to supporting you to work from within the amazing Smart sensing mechanism of your whole self.

Moving with you into the future,
Susan

PS – I’m still taking on a few career reinvention clients over the next two to three months, as I transition into this new work. So if you’ve been thinking of working together, please don’t procrastinate. Get in touch now. You can reach me via email at SBernstein@WorkFromWithin.com or by phone at (415) 508-8250.

PPS – FYI, Somatic Psychology is also known as Mind-Body Psychology, and is a discipline that looks at reuniting mind and body for greater energy, aliveness, and well-being, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

“Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

For many people, this expression is true, with one important modification. I think the word “eventually” needs to be added to the end of that sentence.

But what do you do if “eventually” feels like “forever”?

I want to tell you about a little-known and little-discussed way to address the issue of earning less than you’d like, especially when you feel like you’ve tried everything. The suggestion I have is not a get-rich-quick scheme, nor is it a panacea. But it’s super practical, and I have seen it work.

I’ll start with Jillian’s story  (I’ve changed her name and a few of the details to protect her privacy).

Jillian said: “I really need help. I’ve been trying and trying to make money doing what I love. I really believed that I was offering something worthwhile by helping people manage the ups and downs of managing depression. I’m a therapist by training, but I don’t like sitting with one client after another. My real love is writing and teaching. I developed a website full of ideas to help people cope with this difficult challenge. I’ve taught a few teleclasses. I even wrote a few ebooks, based on my experience counseling people through the hardship of depression. I really care about being of service.

“I’ve invested at least four years working on this business. I’ve spent thousands of dollars on professional support (like a business coach, a web designer, a graphic designer, a virtual assistant, and so on) to make this a viable business, but I just have not been financially successful. I earn just enough money to scrape by. No extra money for vacations, for buying a cute piece of clothing, for having a little fun going to the movies with friends. This deprivation is starving me.

“It’s time for me to make a living ! I’ve been divorced for 9 years.  My previous background was as a marketing exeutive and I was never cut out for it.

“I have two adult kids now, ages 19 and 24, and am committed to getting the youngest through college with no debt and also to raising my two dogs, who do help make me happy. I live pretty far from any family and I’ve found it challenging to make close friends.

“I’ve read a ton of self help books, done loads of exercises to help me figure out the work I love and how to manage my finances. I’ve even meditated for many years.  I hope you’ll understand this:  I thought I was listening to God/The Universe (or some form of higher guidance) when I designed my work, thinking it fit me from the inside out.

“I just don’t know what to do. I’ve tried everything I know to make money. I am feeling angry, upset, and disillusioned.

“I want to be of service and support my family and I just don’t know how.”

Wow, what do you do in a situation like this? Jillian tried all kinds of practical steps to make her business viable.

My insight: It sounds like the key issue Jillian was facing had to do with money, not business or therapy skills. My suspicion was that she was holding herself back with some attitudes and behaviors of underearning. In other words, not living up to her financial potential, which could be limitless.

My recommendation:  I asked Jillian to check out Underearners Anonymous.

Underearners Anonymous (UA) is a Twelve Step fellowship of men and women who have come together to help themselves and one another recover from underearning. Underearning is many things, not all of which are about money. While the most visible consequence is the inability to provide for one’s needs, including future needs, underearning is also about the inability to fully acknowledge and express our capabilities and competencies. It is about underachieving, or under-being, no matter how much money we make.

The tools of UA include, and reinforce, the tried and true tools of recovery provided by the Twelve Steps (like in Alcoholics Anonymous and other similar “Anonymous” programs). Members of UA also utilize additional tools – both individually and with partners – to support taking action that will create lives that are full, prosperous, and grounded in serenity.

Once Jillian started attending UA meetings, she began to realize that one of the biggest blocks to her success was the shame she carried about underearning.

Unfortunately, shaming ourselves does not create an incentive for us to improve our circumstances. Shame may make us work harder on the outside, rather than looking inside to enhance how we treat ourselves. Shame is paralyzing.

Once she began attending Underearners Anonymous meetings (they offer both in person meetings and telephone meetings), Jillian released the shame she had been feeling about her financial situation. She had the courage to see the difficult ways she treated herself. With the help of others in her meetings, she began to feel better about herself and found UA to be a supportive fellowship with a structure and practices to help her regain a sense of her own value. Slowly but surely, she’s been feeling better about herself. In tandem, her earning has been steadily increasing.

So if you’ve been doing the work you truly love, but the money is just not following, I encourage you to check out Underearners Anonymous. The people who are part of this totally volunteer organization may just be the way for you to make a positive change.

Committed to your abundance,

PS – If you’re not doing what you love, let’s change that, soon! Join me January 13-15, 2012, for the “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit” workshop, where you can plan your career future in a hot tub on the Pacific Ocean. And if you register by January 1, 2012, you’ll get $325 in bonus goodies from me! So check out the workshop, now!

If you’re looking for a self-paced, home-study way to improve your career, I’ve got some great digital downloads to help you. These audios and ebooks are full of exercises and guidance to help you find your way through job search, interviewing, and building your confidence .

My gift to you is the biggest savings of the year!

Take 30% off any digital download product in the Work from Within store. That includes:

• The Job Seeker’s Confidence Kit audio and workbook
• The Interviewing Authentically workbook
• How to Make a Meaningful Career Change audio and handout
• How to Create Work That Fits You audio and workbook
• The new Conversations That Create Kick-Ass Confidence package

These are just a few of the career-boosting resources in the Work from Within store.

To get your savings on career-boosting products, simply enter NEWYEAR2012 in the coupon code field at checkout from the Work from Within store, then click “Apply” to get your discount. You’ve only got until December 31 to use the discount, so hurry!

Happy New Year!

Friday night, I attended the San Francisco Time Bank’s event at the Happiness Institute to hear Charles Eistenstein, author of Sacred Economics. After his Charles’ talk, the Time Bank had a holiday fair, and I was a “vendor,” where I offered free 10 minute “speed coaching” sessions.  I’ve done these zippy, to-the-point, high-energy coaching sessions before, for organizations like BrazenCareerist, and always loved offering this.

During one of the sessions, I met with a young woman in her 20s, Janna (I’m changing her name to keep confidentiality), who told me, “I like to do so many things. My boyfriend only likes one. He’s on my case to figure out what to call myself, what to do for a career.”

Janna went on to describe interests in non-violent communication, babies, birthing, political activism, the environment, interpersonal communication, and a host of other fascinating subjects. “The problem is, I don’t know what to be.”

People who have a bunch of interests and talents naturally get frustrated trying to cram them all under one title. It’s problematic to find the one job that will encompass all their talents.

Personally, I find that artificial cramming to be futile. Impossible. Stupid, even.

Most of us grew up with parents who had just one job. Engineer. Chef. Marketing manager. Postal carrier. Actress. Painter. Architect. Accountant. Designer. Finance director. You get the idea.

“So, my boyfriend upset with me, because he does just one thing. He’s a biologist. Me, I don’t know what I am. I have so many interests! What am I supposed to do?” asked Janna.

Ah, this so-called “problem” is not actually a problem, but a remnant of a former way of working. No longer do we need to be saddled with just one title. We’re living in the era of variety. When we can do a bunch of different activities, for which we may be paid varying amounts, in varying ways. You might call it a “portfolio career,” a “slash career” (I’d say, “I’m a coach, slash author, slash performance artist, slash speaker”), or you could say you’ve got “multiple streams of income.” For example, I helped a PR executive reinvent herself, and now she performs in community theater, does voiceovers, and plans events. All have different audiences and different ways she gets paid. But she’s no bound by just one title.

It’s time to unlock yourself from having just ONE thing you do. It can be helpful to find a unifying theme in all that you do. Like Janna might say she’s “all about birthing new ideas and perspectives.” I even suggested to Janna that she starts a public blog to talk about all the things she’s doing, and to find her “tribe” of people who resonate with what she’s doing, what she’s thinking, and what she’s creating. The blog, at least initially, would be more for her than for her audience, so she can start to find her perspective, her descriptors, and what matters to her. It’s a public way of finding her direction. You, too, can try it out.

Janna looked at me quizzically and asked, “But what about my boyfriend? What do I tell him, since he’s so sure I need to find the ONE thing I do. He’s got that, and I don’t.”

Janna loved my guidance, which emerged on the fly, and I wanted to share it with you:

“Think of your interests as though you’re on the playground. You like to play in the sandbox, but also speed down the slide, fly through the air on the swings, and balance on the teeter totter. Your boyfriend likes the jungle gym. That’s fine. You have a diversity of interests, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. In fact, I invite you to cultivate those interests, and find the overarching principle that unites your diverse talents and areas of curiosity.”
Oooh, that “playground” metaphor gave Janna a lot of freedom to “play” with her interests. She need not criticize her boyfriend for loving his biology. He probably finds that to be a big enough playground for himself, at least for now.

What about YOUR playground?

Is your playground filled with a bunch of different activities? If so, what unites them? Or is your playground a single activity? And what keeps it interesting for you?

Click on “comments” above and share about YOUR playground. Why? So we can all see the variety of ways we play in our work. So we can change the paradigm, and open up and validate our amazing playgrounds. Especially for those of us with a ton of interests.

Looking forward to seeing your seesaws and swings,

Don’t know what’s on your playground yet? Let’s get you clear about your career. Join me for the Crafting Careers That Truly Fit workshop! Plus other fun goodies to help you boost your confidence. Click here for the details on this January 13-15 workshop..

The New Year is nearly upon us. It’s a time when you may start to wonder  “what’s next?” or “what do I want to change or improve?”

It’s also a time to think about planning your career future. And I’ve got a fantastic way for you to to do that!

Join me for the workshop “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit”  I’m teaching from January 13-15, 2012, at the gorgeous Esalen Institute, in Big Sur, California. It’s one of the most beautiful places in the world. And they serve fantastic gourmet food. And the rugged mountains and ocean. And morning movement classes that might include yoga, dance, tai chi, or something else fun that weekend. And an Art Barn full of art supplies you can play with. And fantastic, interesting, open-hearted people. And for an extra fee, you can book a divine massage.

Oh, and of course, there are the hot tubs…right on the Pacific Ocean. Imagine relaxing and unwinding and listening to the ocean and sensing your new direction. Aaah, what ease. (I should insert a caveat that I don’t teach the workshop in the hot tub, but you’re welcome to use the hot tub any time between workshop sessions, like in the morning before breakfast, or after dinner.

Personally, I think it’s the most ideal, idyllic, relaxing, supportive place in the whole world to consider your career change. And I’ve designed the workshop so you don’t get stuck in your head. In fact, this is a great chance to listen to the quiet wisdom of your body, the messages you may have been hiding from yourself that you really want to hear. Unless you can be quiet and free of distractions, it’s hard to listen within, so this is your opportunity.

(Please note, the video has an error…the deadline for early registration to get your $325 in bonuses is January 1, NOT January 10. Yes, I’m fallible.)

So, let me share with you about what you’ll learn and discover in this interactive workshop:

• You’ll illuminate what’s important in your future career
• You’ll replace ill-fitting social norms about “work” with visions of what you truly desire
• You’ll brainstorm ways to create meaningful work
• You’ll get clear about your next steps to pursue work that truly fits you.

Register by January 1st, and you will receive a FREE 60-minute coaching session with me after the workshop. You can use the session up until February 15th, 2012. If you had to pay for this out of pocket, it would cost you $325, so think of it either as a $325 discount, or a great added value. Most importantly, I trust that this session will help you to accelerate what you discover during the workshop, so that you’ll be able to make your next career move with more calm, clarity, and courage.

To get this great bonus, you’ll need to register with Esalen no later than January 1st, 2012, by calling 831-667-3000, so take action now. You’ll be glad you’ve done this for your career, your sanity, your body, your mind, and your spirit!

Oh, so how do you get the free coaching session? All you need to do to get that benefit is to email a note to tell me that you’ve paid for the workshop through the Esalen Institute. Drop a  me a note at info @ workfromwithin.com by January 10, 2012 to get this wonderful bonus.  To register for the workshop, simply go to this link for workshop details, and you can either register online, or you can can call the Esalen Institute at 831-667-3000 from 9 am – 7 pm Pacific Time Monday through Friday, or 9 am to 5 pm Saturday & Sunday. Or click here for more contact information at Esalen.

Let’s kick your career into high gear in the New Year!


Over the course of helping people reinvent themselves in their careers, sometimes, the answer isn’t always the obvious one.

Sometimes, you have to get out of your head to get sanity.

Today, I’ve decided to share an email I received, and offered my guidance not only for the dear writer who reached out to me, but to any of you struggling to decide “what should I do next?”  I’ve changed some of the facts, just to protect this dear writer’s privacy.

“Dear Susan:  I’m 27 years old and I am very lost and feel like my life is going nowhere. I earned a university degree in religious studies  in 2006 and since then the only jobs I’ve ever done have been temping jobs in the government, have done a total of 5 temping jobs and the longest of which have been 6 months! So in total I’ve only worked about a year in total and so been out of work for a total of 5 years. I have suffered with depression and anxiety. I lack motivation and drive. I just can’t seem to decide what I want to do with my life.

And what’s more it feels like I’ve tried everything. I’ve seen career counselors, spoken to career advisers, done career tests, written down all my interests and skills, and done voluntary work — all in an attempt to make a decision on doing something, but I still can”t figure out why I seem paralyzed and unable to move on with my life. The voluntary roles I had I just simply lost interest in. I’m someone who gets bored very easily. I just feel so hopeless and sad every day as I already think it’s kinda of too late to do some things. The bottom line: Right now I feel a huge sense of urgency as I need to make a decision to do something without wasting any more time.

What can I do, based on my limited experience? What options do I have?”

Thank you,
Mary

Can you identify with this letter?

My response is not about: Another career test. Another internship or volunteer position. Nor do I prescribe a visit to the psychiatrist for antidepressants.

Here’s my response:

“Dear Mary:  Thanks for being in touch. My heart goes out to you. And when I listen underneath everything you’ve said, my sense is that you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself. You know, everyone finds their path at their own speed, despite what school and companies and society try to dictate. It seems really important to reduce the anxiety.

Deep down, you have a knowing inside of you about each of your next steps. Trust those steps one at a time. No need to rush. No need for urgency. Really a need to hear yourself, I believe. I encourage you to experiment with processes that teach you to hear yourself, like meditation, or perhaps a moving meditation, like the 5Rhythms, or a practice called Sensory Awareness.

Using your mind and your logic to constantly “figure it out,” is overrated, in my humble opinion. I was stuck for a long time not knowing what I wanted. Then, I found body-centered psychotherapy and body-centered practices, like the 5Rhythms and while it was not linear, it lead me to my inner wisdom. I encourage you to drop the needing to know what you need to do for the long run, and start trusting your short-run instincts and impulses.

I wish you well in just being with yourself in a patient, totally compassionate way,
Susan”

Is this reply what you expected? Were you waiting for a list of assessments and tests for Mary to take? Would you have sent Mary to a psychologist or psychotherapist? What would you have suggested to help Mary?

Personally, I think that we in the Western world are a deeply disembodied bunch. We don’t remember our childlike impulses to listen within ourselves. We look outside of ourselves, to a candy store full of luscious life and career choices. And without ever taking a bite, we instantly get sick to our stomachs. That’s because we make ourselves ill when we look for personal answers outside of ourselves.

We’ve forgotten how to mine the delicious treats within. We have lost our memory for how to find our way with our best way-finding equipment:  our senses. I’m a huge believer in waking up the body’s wisdom, in all facets of our lives. Your body connects you to your intuition, your instinctive wisdom, that sense of your next steps.

So, what are you doing to wake up your inner wisdom?
Susan

PS – One of my personal favorite tools for waking up my own inner wisdom? I consult the “Get a Move On!” cards I created. They’re my favorite tool for getting unstuck.