I thought you’d enjoy seeing where my life was at before, in my live-from-a-suitcase, 80+ hour workweek, over-analyzing, over-stressed, highly perfectionistic life as a management consultant, so you you can be inspired that change is possible.

I know that YOU … yes, YOU…even if you are feeling miserable in your career…

(1) You can move your life (and livelihood!) from awful to awesome, if you give yourself time and…
(2) You can hold out hope (and believe in yourself and some magic or power bigger than yourself)
(3) You can allow yourself to imagine and fantasize how life could be. And reap the pretty magical benefits of what can seem like childlike day-dreaming. Even if that day-dreaming feels indulgent. Indulge!

28 May, 1996

I am feeling a great deal of impatience and agitation, but also a tremendous sense that something good is coming. However, I feel like I am being remiss in preparing for an opportunity, and I’m afraid it is going to pass me by.

I have been feeling very frustrated about work. I realize I don’t feel totally organized & methodical, and that sometimes, it’s hard for me to see things clearly. I wonder if I am logical enough. I also wonder if I have enough interest in what I am doing. I am not one of those people who just naturally picks up the Wall Street Journal. I need a problem or an issue to focus on, and then I’ll read.

Anyway, I am still feeling a lot of need to change my job, but I don’t want to rush it. I am scare of being “trapped” on a project I don’t like. For example, I don’t really want to work on the BigCo cost-cutting project in Miami. First of all, regardless of location, cost-cutting doesn’t interest me. Secondly, it’s so far out of town and I’m just beginning to have a social life here. I actually want to have a social life. Ugh, and I hate Miami. I am scared that I would have no idea how to do the work and that I would be so caught between trying to hold the details of the numbers and the big picture at the same time. Yuck! I get stressed out just thinking about it. Dear Universe, please let me be staffed on something more to my liking and temperament.

I guess I am also becoming aware of the need for balance in my life. I am trying to do something about it and to listen to my inner desires. On Saturday, I started singing lessons, and had a lot of fun. I want to perform and entertain and PLAY!

I also had a friend, R, help me out in a wonderful way. We cleaned out the weeds in the backyard and it looks great! I even planted some veggies. I hope they take!

I need to allow myself to have fun like this and just let myself imagine and fantasize about how life could be. I feel happy now. Thank you, Universe, for answering my prayers.

Whew! I am dazzled that my life has changed so much. No more life on airplanes. No more crunching numbers in Excel spreadsheets all day long. No more helping big companies cut costs. Hurray for

So, what do you imagine and fantasize about in your indulgent future life and livelihood? How about sharing it here, and watching it come true?

Or, what if you got out a journal, right now, or even just a scrap of paper, and started writing about the life and livelihood you truly want. And let yourself feel how that feels. Aaaah…

I’d love to hear what emerges for you. Let yourself sing. I’ll sing with you, if you like.

Love,

Susan

I know the sting of losing your job, and how much it can hurt. I recognize that looking for work can create anxiety. You don’t know when you’ll get the new job, how, or from whom.

It pains me when I hear people say “I’m unemployed.” Please, you’re not an “UN.” So perhaps you can say “I’m between jobs” or “I’m looking for my next adventure” or something else that feels better. Words carry energy, and I am all about creating positive energy around work.

In the midst of the scary world of being “in between jobs,” I wanted to do something to help people who are unemployed and need some hope. So I’ve made a special VIDEO message to uplift & inspire you. Enjoy!

Please share your comments about this video, below. Whether you’re cheering yourself up, or cheering on someone who’s between jobs, your thoughts matter.

So, in August, I boogied down to the Esalen Institute, a personal development retreat center on the rugged Big Sur coast for a workshop of Soul Motion with my gracious and graceful teachers, Zuza Engler and Scott Engler. I moved and grooved, sweated profusely, and got in touch with my heart in a big, juicy way. (By the way, I’m teaching a workshop there December 5-10! Check it out on their calendar )

And, as I always seem to do at Esalen, I connected with great people. One of them is Mary Pinozotto, who is a total original. One day, Mary asked our group to help her film a video. I was feeling emotionally tender that day, so I hid from the camera. But I was intrigued over dinner, as she edited the video to post the next day. I asked her what she was doing.

“Oh, I’m recording one dance video every day.”

What!?! That’s pretty amazing. Where does she get inspired? What keeps her going? I was intrigued. She told me about dancing at Wal-Mart. And with Hells’ Angels. And in nature. And in so many different ways. Short dance. Long dances. And then the artistry of editing all of these.

Well, of course I asked to interview her for this blog. Here’s a woman who’s following her heart and her art. As she says in the audio interview I had with her, she’s becoming the person she’s dreamed herself to be.

To me, when we move, we change. Mary is in the flow of change, and I hope you’ll listen to her wisdom if you are in a place of transition, and craving a more authentic, creative life.

Listen to my interview with Mary

I hope you’ll enjoy the interview, with some key highlights about:
- moving emotions out and through the body; the metaphors in movement (I know about that from the Get A Move On! cards)
- dealing with money, and cherishing what you have
- increasing your ability to learn notice new things
- dedication and staying with something with discipline; sinking your teeth in
- listening for the creative inspiration

I’ve also posted a few of Mary’s amazing dance videos. Do they make you want to get up and move your body? C’mon! It’s OK. Go ahead! Join the dance!

Video 1: About the Freebox Blog

Video 2: To Sheryl Crow’s I Shall Believe


Video 3: From a Hafiz poem

I hope this inspires you!  If you want to view Mary’s blog, The Freebox, visit http://thefreebox.wordpress.com/

Wishing you delicious rhythmic journeys,

Susan

Do you ever dream of having your own radio talk show?

Well, I confess, that’s one of my dreams. I’d have a call-in show on a big radio station. I’d listen to people’s problems about wanting better work, about dealing with stress on the job, about figuring out how to make important work-related decisions, and about how to project more confidence to colleagues and clients. Gosh, that would be so much fun, to help people, one-by-one,  shape their success. At work, we often lack guidance for how to be ourselves and have an impact in the world. People might call me the “Suze Orman of Careers,” although I find her a bit grating. I’d have more of a dose of my smiling high energy, like the woman I resembled in the 1980s, gymnast Mary Lou Retton. Well, maybe a little less cute. A bit smarter. I do have an MBA and a PhD, after all.

Well, I’m moving in that direction, creating plans for a radio show down the line. Sure, I could create one right now, on a channel like Blog Talk Radio, on which I’ve been a guest. However, my aspirations are bigger. XM Radio or Sirius, or maybe CBS. And TV? That would be great, too.

For now, I want to give you the best of me, Dr. Susan, through my blog and website. It’s a great way to get myself ready for a radio show. Besides, I get asked tons of career-related questions every week, and I realize how often I want to share the advice I give one person with a whole bunch of people.

So, I’m excited to welcome you to use the Work from Within blog to ask YOUR questions. And I can answer them. My intention is to respond to at least one question weekly, and be as helpful as I can, sharing what it means to “work from within,” and helping you to achieve the calm, clarity, and confidence that’s possible when you listen to and trust your embodied intelligence.

Do you want to ask a question? Go ahead!  Here’s the link:  http://www.workfromwithin.com/resources/askdrsusanthanks/

C’mon, Ask Dr. Susan! I promise to be kind, supportive, and upbeat. I’d love to read your questions…and, of course, answer them.

Are you fed up with your work?

Well, you’re not alone! Have you noticed that other people around you just want to throw in the towel at work?

I say “ARGH!” (Not very articulate…just ultra frustrating!)

World at Work recently reported on a study by The Conference Board:
The report, based on a survey of 5,000 U.S. households conducted for The Conference Board by TNS, found that only 45% of those surveyed said they are satisfied with their jobs, down from 61.1% in 1987, the first year in which the survey was conducted.

“While one in 10 Americans is now unemployed, their working compatriots of all ages and incomes continue to grow increasingly unhappy,” says Lynn Franco, director of the Consumer Research Center of The Conference Board. “Through both economic boom and bust during the past two decades, our job satisfaction numbers have shown a consistent downward trend.”

So, what’s causing this frustration with work? My answer may surprise you.

I don’t think it’s just that we have crummy managers and unattractive offices. It’s not just that tasks can be boring.

The big reason I believe job satisfaction tends to be low:  We give our control for our careers over to other people.

I talk to hundreds of people about their work every month. And when I ask them, “How did you come to be doing the work you’re doing?” I hear over and over again:

• I fell into my work
• I stumbled into my work
• Someone (my boss, my parent, my spouse) told me I should do my work
• Someone told me I shouldn’t do the thing I really love
• I figured that if I did what I love, I’d be a starving… (you fill in the blank…artist, musician, chef, etc.) so I just gave in and did something to pay the bills

Are you guilty of one of these? I was. My first week of college at the University of Arizona, I called home (a collect call, on the dorm’s hallway payphone) to my father and told him that I’d declared a major.  “What did you declare?” my dad asked.  “Psychology!” I exclaimed, breathlessly excited. I knew my passion. I’d be studying it.

Then came the silence. I waited. And waited. And waited for my father to say something. “Dad? Dad? Are you still there?” I begged to know, panicked about his lack of enthusiasm.

“Susan, you’ll never make any money until you get to the PhD level.”

Those words were sufficiently frightening to me, at the tender age of 18, to send me in a new academic direction. I studied Economics and Marketing. I sacrificed my passion for money. I did that for most of my career. And slowly but surely, the life energy was draining out of me, until finally, in 2001, I decided that I didn’t want to be a 70 year-old woman before I studied my first love. I wasn’t 100% sure what I’d do with my studies, but my heart was calling to me.

We so often leave our hearts out of our decisions about our careers. This is a recipe for disappointment. Work will ultimately become a dirty four-letter word if your heart’s not in it.

What can you do about increasing your job satisfaction?

1. Take back control. Instead of surrendering your control to well-meaning friends, co-workers, managers, spouses, family members, listen to your heart.

Ask your heart:

• What are you needing more of?
• What are you hungry for?
• What do you truly want to express to the world?

Be patient. If you’ve not listened to your heart in a long time, it may be shy or reluctant to share. Or, it may be itching to talk to you. Get a journal and write down whatever comes. Trust your heart. Listen to your gut. Then, put your mind in the service of your heart (and your gut, and all your inner wisdom, even in your little pinky toes).

2.  Take baby steps. Most of us try to make change too quickly, honestly. I know, I know, we feel like we’ve gotta have that new job now. Or we have to make everything all better in one felt swoop.

I would ask you:  What’s ONE thing you could try out doing differently this week? Here are some ideas for first steps:

• Frustrating colleagues? Plan a conversation to clear the air and start fresh. Put it on the calendar. Then prepare by reading about a subject like Marshall Goldsmith’s non-violent communication so you have a model for communicating effectively.
• Angry manager? Read a great book like Douglas Stone & Bruce Patton’s Difficult Conversations so you know how to talk to your manager. Find something to do to let go of the anger, like taking a walk or writing in a private journal.
• Ugly office? Bring in a vase and fresh flowers. Put up a photo that pleases you.
• Unreasonable deadlines? Prioritize all of your projects, so you know what’s most important.Write a workplan and discuss it with your manager. If you can show that you’d need to work an incredible number of hours, look for solutions to eliminate or shorten steps, delegate portions, or create time-off after you put in a big push of work.
• Massive bureaucracies? Find experts in your organization who’ve mastered the art of getting things done – take them to lunch and pick their brains, so you learn how to do it.
• Never-ending meetings? Suggest trying out stand-up meetings as leader Bob Schoultz suggests. Most people will go faster if they’re not sitting down.

3. Believe that great work is possible. Many of us block ourselves with expressions like “work sucks” and “well, this is as good as it gets” or “I can just suffer through this.” Do you really want work that fits you? Then I believe you must craft your “work from within,” for if you do not believe, deep within yourself, that this is possible, you will sabatoge your possibilities for great work.

Great work is not just an idea. When you have great work, you embody it. So take charge, and follow your heart. Let it set your direction. And then ask your mind to help you move in that new, heart-felt direction.

With care,

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Do you really, truly want work that fits for you?

What are you doing to create it?

I’ve got a great new 7-week webinar series, “Don’t Look for a Job! Create a ROLE That Truly Fits for You” that I’m offering on Wednesday nights from April 7 to May 19, 2010. Check it out at http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/

Go ahead and get a taste! Sign up for a free preview call to learn more about that webinar. The free call is on Wednesday, March 3, 6-7 pm Pacific. Get all the details at  http://www.workfromwithin.com/calendar/rolethatfitswebinar/#1

You see, back in the mid-1990’s, I was running around as a management consultant, flying around on airplanes like in Up in the Air, living in hotel rooms, and spending too many days in in stress-filled board meetings. During that time, I first heard of Esalen. I honestly thought it was some kind of woo-woo New Agey place, filled with people wearing tie-dyed clothes and Birkenstocks. I was scared that the people who attended this place would be hippy-dippy dropouts from life.

I was wrong. When I finally went to Esalen for my first time, at the suggestion of a dear friend and fellow management consultant, I was delighted. I was recovering from a broken marriage, poor health, a family misfortune, and the demise of the dot-com where I had worked. All that trauma happened in five weeks, and I needed a break. Esalen offers all kinds of workshops, on topics from relationships to psychology to movement, arts, and creative expression. And the setting!  Dramatically situated on the cliffs of the Pacific Ocean in scenic Big Sur, California, it offers mountains, ocean, and pure, clean air, given that it is pretty remote from any big cities. The closest major cities are Monterey and Carmel, about an hour’s drive north. This means that you enjoy a super quiet escape in nature.

Flash forward nearly nine years. After being a participant in over 12 workshops in the span of nearly nine years, I am honored to be teaching a workshop at Esalen this January, — it’s called “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit – How to Work from Within“. If you happen to be at a career crossroads, wondering “what should I do next in my career?” this just may be the workshop for you.

From January 15-17, 2010, you can join me at the gorgeous Esalen Institute, and in this interactive workshop, you will

• Illuminate what’s important in your future career
• Replace ill-fitting social norms about “work” with visions of what you truly desire
• Brainstorm ways to create meaningful work
• Get clear about your next steps to pursue work that truly fits you.

I  have a special GIFT for you! I’m thrilled to offer this workshop – and to offer a special gift to you if you register for the workshop by the end of 2009.  I’m including a 50-minute phone coaching session with me after the workshop, plus a deck of “Get A Move On!” cards.  You can get more details on this special gift here.

If you are craving clarity about what’s next in your career, and you want to get back in touch with yourself and craft work that truly fits you, then, I’d love to have you join us in beautiful Big Sur for this workshop.  Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions about the workshop, and I’ll be happy to help you see if it’s a fit for you.

Here’s to careers that fit!

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

As we move towards the Winter Solstice, and the hours of sunlight grow shorter and shorter, this is a great time of year to turn inward and notice the people and circumstances for which we are most grateful.

I encourage you to express gratitude and thanksgiving to at least three people this week…and notice how you feel inside.  What emotions do you feel? How do you feel in your body? Perhaps you will feel love arising…not necessarily mushy, sentimental love, but a more universal feeling.

Pay close attention those positive feelings and sensations. Savor them. And then set an intention to spread those good feelings to your work. You might imagine a that the positive energy is like a mist and it spreads gently, touching any element of your life that needs to come into the light, some situation or relationship that is calling out for greater meaning and fulfillment. Then, exhale, and release the outcome. You might write down any insights or “aha’s” in a journal, and track what happens.

When you transform your feelings about a difficult issue or relationship, you “work from within” to regain your sense of impact. Instead of feeling so stuck, focusing on any positive aspect, even if it seems teeny, helps you to feel better and open up new possibilities. While you may not get exactly the outcome you expect, practice being grateful (even to the person or situation for being an extremely challenging teacher) and you are very likely to generate new choices. You fuel positive change with positive energy.

Your emotions and sensations are novel and original in each moment. So by allowing yourself to focus on positive aspects of in any moment, and feeling and sensing our own well-being, we transform our brains so that new neural pathways are created, instead of being “stuck in a rut.”

Maybe, just maybe, these suggestions will allow you to experience what the poet Khalil Gibran said of work…“Work is love, made visible.”

I’d love to hear how this works for you! Drop me at line at Info@WorkFromWithin.com

Happy Thanksgiving!
Susan

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – If you’d like to get out of a rut about your career, I invite you to read about the January 15 – 17, 2010 workshop I’m teaching at the Esalen Institute.

This week, I’m trying something new.  Instead of telling you my intent with the card image, I’m focusing on what’s really important: Allowing YOU to express what it means to YOU to extend yourself.

So, when you’re stuck, or lost, or confused, and you need to find your direction, how does the guidance “extend yourself” help you?

What does “extend yourself” bring to mind for you?

How might you “extend yourself” right now?

I welcome your stories, observations, and thoughts about how this image and the wisdom to “extend yourself” touches you.  Thank you for extending yourself!  When you share, I promise to reply back on the blog.

Warmly,

Susan

Dr. Susan Bernstein
Life/Work Transition Expert
www.WorkFromWithin.com

PS – Each week, I’ve been introducing a new card from the deck of 52 Get A Move On! cards I created.   When you’re feeling lost, confused, or unsure, these cards that are designed to help you get “unstuck.” Each of the 52 cards (plus two instruction cards) features an image and a phrase, and these whimsical hand-drawn (with crayon and pen, by me, Dr. Susan Bernstein) images is meant to get you inspired and moving.

I started realizing how much people pressure themselves with deadlines.  I truly hate that word “dead” that’s at the front of “deadlines.”  Who wants to show up “dead” after doing all that work?  But with so much pressure, some people may as well be dead.  They just crush themselves under a condemning voice that always tells them what’s left to be completed. 

Look, it’s not as though I’m totally immune from deadline pressure, either.  But, actually, I prefer to have “lifeline” ease.

What’s “lifeline ease,” you ask?

Happy to answer.

I like to “throw” myself a lifeline in the form of the vision of the project being successfully completed.  In other words, I envision, from the start, a positive, happy, wonderful ending.  No, that’s not always easy to do.  Sometimes, I can’t believe how hard a task seems.  In that case, if things are feeling overwhelming, I’ll set a lifeline for a step that feels more manageable, a smaller chunk.  Or, I’ll imagine a positive lifeline in the form of a connection with someone who has the expertise to help me.  I’ll envision someone helpful showing up in my life.  For example, when my dissertation research was really stalled, I envisioned that I’d get a warm handshake and a smile from someone who had some idea how to help me out of my bind.  And, sure enough, that person emerged, in the form of a new chairwoman of my department.  She had some truly helpful advice that got me back on track, fast.

I prefer to see positive outcomes, and to allow myself to enjoy, as much as possible, each step along my journey.  I’m taking a different approach than pressuring myself and creating stress.  As I see it, our society is addicted to adrenaline.  It gets the job done in the moment, but over time, high-adrenaline lifestyles take their toll. 

Instead of setting a deadline, I encourage you to throw yourself a lifeline.  It’s also a little bit like a goal, but more like a target.  You know, with a target and a bow & arrow, how you’re trying to hit the bullseye? Well, that’s a pretty narrow spot.  What if you allow yourself a wider range?  That’s what I’m proposing with a lifeline.

So, for example, using lifeline might go something like this:

You have a paper you’re writing for work.  It will be presented at a conference in 30 days.  You know you’ll need at least 4 hours to write and edit the paper.  So, you make a promise to have it done within 28 days, so you’ll certainly have it done by then.  But you also set a “go for” of 20 days — a bit of a stretch.  And then, as a “super stretch,” you see if you can get it done in 14 days. 

Then, you track your progress.  You see how you’re doing.  And you know you can fulfill your promise to yourself.  You might also have the energy and time to “go for” it and get the paper done early.  And, if you feel really, really inspired, you might go for the super stretch.  Three “lifelines” all of which keep you moving and positive, not so stressed out. 

You can create “lifelines” for sales goals, for completion of “honey do” lists, and for lots of other projects. 

I hope you relax the need to work out of fear (”deadlines”), so you can do your work out of love (”lifelines”). 

Tell me what you think of lifelines, and how you use them.  I’d love to know!

To life!  L’chaim!
Susan