Are you just a floating head?

I know. That’s a weird question. But it arises because I am currently reading the book, New Self, New World: Recovering Our Senses in the Twenty-First Century, by Philip Shepherd, and loving it. It’s so much about the ways that we cut off from the wisdom of our bodies, and live in our minds, not ever stopping to question that practice, just blindly accepting it. His message resonates so much for me. Like Philip Shepherd. I am committed to reawakening people to the innate intelligence of the body. It is a wisdom we know well before we are verbal, the way that newborn babies instinctively turn to hear their mother’s voice, even before they have full sight. Or the way an infant knows to cry to get attention, and an attuned mother can differentiate between the sounds of hunger, pain, and frustration.

This understanding of the wisdom of the body is getting more attention, and I am delighted. Shepherd apparently has attracted the attention of Eve Ensler, author, actress, and activist. This TEDWomen video shares her experience of awakening to her own inner wisdom, where realizes she is not just a floating head.

I love this line from her video: “For a long time, there was me, and my body. Me was composed of stories, of cravings, of strivings, of desires of the future. Me was trying not to be an outcome of my violent past, but the separation that had already occurred between me and my body was a pretty significant outcome. Me was always trying to become something, somebody. Me only existed in the trying. My body was often in the way. Me was a floating head.”

What about you? Are you just a floating head? Do you listen to your mind and ignore your body? Or diminish it’s messages?

We all need help shifting from head to whole self, so please share your experience of feeling more in your head…or more in your body…or somewhere between.

My own story of moving from floating head to being an embodied, vibrant, connected person is this: I had a wake up call to my body in the mid 1990s. About three years into my time in management consulting, I was involved in a car accident. As I drove home from San Francisco International Airport, while returning from a client engagement in Southern California, I was rear-ended by a drunk driver. Although the accident was not serious, I started getting painful migraine headaches immediately afterwards. My doctor wanted to run tests, but I would not allow it. I was determined to show how tough I could be. Even though I was completely stressed out by the nature of the work and the 80 to 100 hour work weeks, and even though I had fantasies about quitting the consulting firm, I was not going to let headaches keep me from working on what I thought was an extremely important client project! Then, two weeks after the car accident, I passed out in front of a group of clients. I literally fainted in front of them from the pain, and the project team took me to the hospital to check my health.

Clearly, I had not been listening to my body. I ignored the migraine symptoms, continuing to push through them so that I could work. I pretended I was fine. Fortunately, the managing partner of my office insisted that I follow my doctor’s orders to take a month off from work to relax and recuperate.

Deep down, I felt conflict. I wanted to demonstrate to my project team that I was as strong as everyone else, and that I fit into the culture, by continuing to work. But I also wished I could simply find work that was more fun, or that I could even stop working for a period. I lost consciousness, but that experience of fainting make me conscious of my need for work that fit me better. I moved into a role within the HR structure, running a global training operation, and loved it.

After starting a new educational program and running it for two years, I felt an impulse to take charge of my career direction, and have been incredibly proactive about seeking out new vistas that draw me in, that pull my energy, that beckon my involvement. They have included counseling, coaching, and teaching, in many ways, including online, in person, and one-on-one.

When this smart sensing capability expanded within me, I could feel my way through uncertainty, navigating more assuredly, more enthusiastically. No longer did I wait for anyone to direct me. I became more and more attuned to the innate intelligence within me, my inner guidance system. And now, I am fortunate enough to teach others to do the same for themselves. I’m not their director, I’m merely there to help guide them to their own wisdom, a boundless capacity.

Where are you residing? In your head? Your heart? Your gut? Your whole self, from head to toe?

Take a stand, and share your tale of learning to inhabit more of your head. Because certainly, we could all use more encouragement to find our whole wisdom.

With heartful appreciation,

I don’t want to be called a “career coach” anymore. I’m moving in a new direction

And I’d love to hear from you about this new direction. I thought I’d share with you, candidly, about where I’ve been, where I’m heading, and how it impacts you and your work.

For at least the last year, I felt like something was missing in my career. I sensed the impact the work I was doing with individuals in career reinvention and said, “Hmm, something feels stuck, blocked, unexpressed in me.” I felt heavy, burdened. But I also noticed something churning inside of me, cooking, baking, percolating.

Now, I’m able to articulate that element that I’ve been so hungry to share. You see, when I went back to school for a PhD in Somatic Psychology (that’s also known as “mind/body psychology”)  in 2001, my intention was to support busy mid- to senior-level professionals to be more present, more alive, more vibrant in their work, especially in the face of rapid change and uncertainty. I knew that the principles I was learning in school could help make change smoother, easier to navigate.

I was (and still am) 100% convinced that simple practices could help professionals avoid getting stuck in their head. Heck, I’d been one of those people who could never seem to shut off my mind. As a result, my body was suffering from the tension of working long hours, pushing and pushing to get through projects, barely allowing myself to rest, recover, and renew. I started to push my way through tasks, but exhausted myself. Can you relate?

Once I learned how to really pay attention to both my head and my body, I became more resilient, productive, creative, clear-headed, and confident.

And I knew I could teach people — like you — to live with these positive qualities in your working life.

But honestly, I had been coaching people in career change as a part-time job while I earned my PhD, and somehow, it became my full-time job.

Until now.

After a decade of helping people navigate their individual career transitions, I’m boldly following my original intention:

To support companies to thrive by teaching their employees powerful practices that bring out more of their potential. And in the process, I’ll be helping professionals (maybe even you?) truly come alive in their work.

With so much turmoil in the business world (heck, the world in general) now is the moment to launch this new direction. Wouldn’t you agree? I’m excited to help motivated up-and-coming professionals navigate change and uncertainty so they move to the next level of performance. I’ll be focusing on coaching high-potential current and future leaders to cultivate greater
* resilience
* focus
* decision making capabilities
* presence
* confidence

Your wisdom isn’t just in your head

You know, your wisdom comes not just from your brains, but really from your whole body.  It’s like your body acts as a monitoring or navigational device. Your senses give you information to help you find your way, especially when the road ahead is foggy or bumpy. If you pay attention, you sense the signals….”more this way…less of that…I like this…I don’t care for that”

But many of us have learned to ignore the messages of our bodies, especially at work, because our culture treats the mind as if it is superior to the body (oh, and your body does so much more than carry your brain around!)

When you leave out the information you’re getting from your senses, you are only using part of your capabilities and potential.

Get wiser with a radical idea: SmartSensing

But instead of cutting off your sense, you can learn to pay attention to your senses, trust them, and act on them That’s what I would call SmartSensing. Essentially, you make smarter choices and take wiser actions when you complement your thoughts and ideas with your sensory information.

This SmartSensing is a radical idea. It’s like overriding what most of us learn at school, in our families, and at work. We learn to ignore our body’s messages. Like when you get a headache, do you pop an aspirin? Or do you ask what’s burdening your mind and how you might alleviate it? Or it’s like meeting two prospective new employees. When you meet the first one, you get a knot in your stomach, and when you meet the second candidate, you feel light and bubbly. Do you run to take an antacid after you meet the first one? Or do you stop and ask, “What is my body telling me?”

We often dismiss the subtle signals our bodies give us. And we also miss the chance to make small changes with our bodies that open up whole new mental vistas.

Try this out, for example: When you’re stressed out, you can shake your body while you imagine your tension dropping away. With practice, you can feel a sense of relief, so that you can get back to whatever you were doing before you got stressed out. So the next time an angry colleague or a frustrated customer yells at you, try shaking off and getting back to equilibrium.

Your amazing body is not just a monitor. It’s an amazing adaptive, self-adjusting system. And you become most effective when you allow your mind work collaborate with your senses.

My new work will help you move to higher levels of performance. And a big part of what I’ll be teaching (in my coaching, workshops, retreats, and even on the Work from Within blog and newsletter) are perspectives and practices that will help you to listen to, trust, and act on the messages of your amazing monitoring and adjustment mechanism – your body. The ability to create ease, well-being, and amazing levels of performance – it’s all in your hands (and in your heart, your gut, and your whole body).

In the coming months, I’ll be letting you know about the coaching, workshops, and customized events I’ll be offering to companies, especially those who want their people to stay resilient in the face of major change. Oh, and companies who actively support their high potential current and future leaders in navigating to the next level. (If you want the early scoop for you or your company, just get in contact)

So, what do you think? How might SmartSensing help you at work? What can you imagine in terms of your emotional flexibility, your resilience, your confidence…if you listened to your body?

I look forward to supporting you to work from within the amazing Smart sensing mechanism of your whole self.

Moving with you into the future,
Susan

PS – I’m still taking on a few career reinvention clients over the next two to three months, as I transition into this new work. So if you’ve been thinking of working together, please don’t procrastinate. Get in touch now. You can reach me via email at SBernstein@WorkFromWithin.com or by phone at (415) 508-8250.

PPS – FYI, Somatic Psychology is also known as Mind-Body Psychology, and is a discipline that looks at reuniting mind and body for greater energy, aliveness, and well-being, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Friday night, I attended the San Francisco Time Bank’s event at the Happiness Institute to hear Charles Eistenstein, author of Sacred Economics. After his Charles’ talk, the Time Bank had a holiday fair, and I was a “vendor,” where I offered free 10 minute “speed coaching” sessions.  I’ve done these zippy, to-the-point, high-energy coaching sessions before, for organizations like BrazenCareerist, and always loved offering this.

During one of the sessions, I met with a young woman in her 20s, Janna (I’m changing her name to keep confidentiality), who told me, “I like to do so many things. My boyfriend only likes one. He’s on my case to figure out what to call myself, what to do for a career.”

Janna went on to describe interests in non-violent communication, babies, birthing, political activism, the environment, interpersonal communication, and a host of other fascinating subjects. “The problem is, I don’t know what to be.”

People who have a bunch of interests and talents naturally get frustrated trying to cram them all under one title. It’s problematic to find the one job that will encompass all their talents.

Personally, I find that artificial cramming to be futile. Impossible. Stupid, even.

Most of us grew up with parents who had just one job. Engineer. Chef. Marketing manager. Postal carrier. Actress. Painter. Architect. Accountant. Designer. Finance director. You get the idea.

“So, my boyfriend upset with me, because he does just one thing. He’s a biologist. Me, I don’t know what I am. I have so many interests! What am I supposed to do?” asked Janna.

Ah, this so-called “problem” is not actually a problem, but a remnant of a former way of working. No longer do we need to be saddled with just one title. We’re living in the era of variety. When we can do a bunch of different activities, for which we may be paid varying amounts, in varying ways. You might call it a “portfolio career,” a “slash career” (I’d say, “I’m a coach, slash author, slash performance artist, slash speaker”), or you could say you’ve got “multiple streams of income.” For example, I helped a PR executive reinvent herself, and now she performs in community theater, does voiceovers, and plans events. All have different audiences and different ways she gets paid. But she’s no bound by just one title.

It’s time to unlock yourself from having just ONE thing you do. It can be helpful to find a unifying theme in all that you do. Like Janna might say she’s “all about birthing new ideas and perspectives.” I even suggested to Janna that she starts a public blog to talk about all the things she’s doing, and to find her “tribe” of people who resonate with what she’s doing, what she’s thinking, and what she’s creating. The blog, at least initially, would be more for her than for her audience, so she can start to find her perspective, her descriptors, and what matters to her. It’s a public way of finding her direction. You, too, can try it out.

Janna looked at me quizzically and asked, “But what about my boyfriend? What do I tell him, since he’s so sure I need to find the ONE thing I do. He’s got that, and I don’t.”

Janna loved my guidance, which emerged on the fly, and I wanted to share it with you:

“Think of your interests as though you’re on the playground. You like to play in the sandbox, but also speed down the slide, fly through the air on the swings, and balance on the teeter totter. Your boyfriend likes the jungle gym. That’s fine. You have a diversity of interests, and there’s nothing at all wrong with that. In fact, I invite you to cultivate those interests, and find the overarching principle that unites your diverse talents and areas of curiosity.”
Oooh, that “playground” metaphor gave Janna a lot of freedom to “play” with her interests. She need not criticize her boyfriend for loving his biology. He probably finds that to be a big enough playground for himself, at least for now.

What about YOUR playground?

Is your playground filled with a bunch of different activities? If so, what unites them? Or is your playground a single activity? And what keeps it interesting for you?

Click on “comments” above and share about YOUR playground. Why? So we can all see the variety of ways we play in our work. So we can change the paradigm, and open up and validate our amazing playgrounds. Especially for those of us with a ton of interests.

Looking forward to seeing your seesaws and swings,

Don’t know what’s on your playground yet? Let’s get you clear about your career. Join me for the Crafting Careers That Truly Fit workshop! Plus other fun goodies to help you boost your confidence. Click here for the details on this January 13-15 workshop..

Do you have Kick-Ass Confidence?

After blogging about it for a week, I realize that Kick-Ass Confidence is a feeling of exhilaration that arises when you know in your gut that no matter what happens, you will believe in yourself.

Do you wonder if you’ve got the “Kick-Ass” part of confidence? Perhaps “kick ass” conjures up images of being tough, with a thick skin, and a ninja-like fighting quality, with a sense of bravado? Oooh, not my intention! Sounds like hard work to me. No thanks.

To me, the “Kick-Ass” part is all about feeling good no matter what. Sure, I could have called it, “Feel Good No Matter What Confidence,” but that’s a mouthful! For me, “Kick-Ass” is about the exhilaration, the juicy deep-down feeling rooted within you, keeping you navigating towards inner well-being, even when circumstances outside of you might not seem all that positive.

Can you imagine feeling good about yourself when a bunch of seemingly negative things happen all around you?

I discovered that I could about 10 years ago. In a brief five week period, my marriage dissolved, I moved from a huge house to a teeny temporary apartment, someone in my family sustained an injury that required a month-long hospitalization, I had two surgeries, and I was laid off from my job. No house, not such good health, and no job. My life changed substantially in five weeks.

If you had all these unsettling experiences in such a short span, how would you embody Kick-Ass Confidence?

Here’s what I did to have Kick-Ass Confidence in the midst of chaos. I know these three simple steps, if you really apply them, can work for you…

(1) Slow down to the speed of your BODY to find the power of your own sweet presence

Kick-Ass Confidence is something you embody. You feel it in your bones. You breathe it. You live it. There’s no need to fake your emotions. So you can have Kick-Ass Confidence at the same time as challenges in your life are upsetting you. The difference is, when your confidence is firmly rooted in your body, you don’t bend and sway and lose your center when difficulties arise (and they will in life; that’s unavoidable). Sure, I was distraught to have my life turned upside down back in 2001. But that view of my life was, and will probably always be, a set of ideas. Concepts. That’s what my mind dreams up. I thought “I am a marketing manager,” so losing my job made me be shocked to be “unemployed.”

When the world is spinning, one of the best things you can do is to feel your feet on the ground. And put a hand on your chest and feel your heart beating. Notice your chest rising and falling as you breathe. When you focus on what’s happening in your body, moment to moment, you enter the present moment. Stay there for a while, noticing sensations in your body. Do this as long as you can. Just hang out with yourself and describe, in your mind, what you’re feeling. “I notice my breath in my belly. I feel a tightness in my shoulders, especially my left one. My right forearm is pressing hard against the computer as I’m typing.”

Notice and silently describe your sensations. This practice can really transform anxiety into peace. If you’re like me, too often, you hang out with the “idea” of yourself, the image of you we think you should be. That’s a mental game. When you get into your body, and feel your sensations, you come into the present moment. That’s the most precious moment, ever. And as you keep inviting yourself, through the wisdom of your sensations, to be in the present moment, you give yourself the gift of your own sweet self. You get to know you.

If you want a sensational, kick-ass life, pay attention to your sensations. They’ll guide you back to the true you. The you that has tons of Kick-Ass Confidence.

(2) Attune your MIND to the positive channel.

What messages you are broadcasting to yourself? The words you say to yourself have an impact. And you get to determine how they play out.

Here’s an example:  During that chaotic five-week period back in 2001, I began to watch my mind and the thoughts it was conjuring up. At first, they were scary! “What if I never get a job again and I spend all of my savings, and I wind up homeless, in the street, like a shopping bag lady?” Aaaak!

I began to notice that I was the one who generated those scary, fearful thoughts. Sure, my friends and family could worry about me. But can be an expert in anxiousness. Soon after all the nuttiness, I gave up my television. Without a television, I observed that I was less anxious. It occurred to me that my mind was like the television. Sometimes, it was broadcasting on a very negative channel.

If you want to embody Kick-Ass Confidence, you need to be broadcasting positive, uplifting programming. Sure, sometimes you’d rather watch something violent, like wrestling, on TV. But in your own mind? Try out more uplifting thoughts. To do that, think of a project where you’d like to embody more Kick-Ass Confidence, like talking to your boss or speaking in front of crowds. Then, make a list of the thoughts that are worrying or frustrating you about this project. One by one, upgrade the thoughts. So instead of saying, “My boss will always hate me,” try on “I am going to do my best with my boss, and I’ll appreciate myself, no matter what.” You’ll know you’ve found a good phrase when your body feels relief, like letting out a sigh, breathing more deeply, or feeling more energized.

(3) Connect with SPIRIT.

When you’re lacking confidence, do you tend to isolate yourself? Many people do, out of a sense of shame. Maybe you wish your circumstances were different. To ease your journey of change, connect to spirit.

I see spirit as two-fold:  Your own inner spirit, and Spirit with a capital “S.” Your own inner spirit is that place of higher wisdom, the ever-affirming self, the part of you that transcends your judging ego and trusts that everything always works out, but you may not always know how or when it will work out. In moments of hardship, find a quiet place to relax. Gently put a hand on your heart and ask your inner spirit to give you guidance. Trust whatever wisdom comes. Usually, the inner spirit uses simple words and brief phrases, rather than being complex and convoluted. Nuggets like “Just take one step at a time” often emerge.

That Capital S, Spirit, is a power bigger than you, bigger than me, that imbues us all. Some other names for Spirit are God, Jesus, Christ, Allah, The Universe, Source, and Higher Power. Whatever you choose to call it, when you need Kick-Ass Confidence, I encourage you to call on Spirit to help you. So you might pray. Or you might write poetry. Or you might even scream out, “Spirit, I need your help, now!” Tapping into unseen forces requires faith. Even if you have the tiniest sliver of faith, with patience, it will build. So will your confidence. Try speaking aloud or writing a wish or a prayer to Spirit, and see what magic happens.

When I took simple steps with these three elements — body, mind, and spirit — back in 2001, the chaos lifted. Instead of going back to work I hated, I had the confidence to pursue the psychology studies I’d always dreamed of, and eventually earned my PhD.

What will YOU do — in mind, body, or spirit — to have Kick-Ass Confidence? Share your commitment, so we can support you!

Simply yours,

What would YOU like to feel more confident about? I’ve  decided to write a whole month of blog posts on creating Kick-Ass   Confidence, from mid-September to mid-October. Each day, I’ll be sharing   stories, ideas, and practices for cultivating feel-it-in-your-bones,   deep-rooted, self-confidence. Get the whole series delivered to your email box, for free! Plus other fun goodies to help you boost your confidence. Subscribe now by clicking here.

When I signed up to work in the kitchen at Esalen for the month of August, I knew full well that this would entail washing dishes.

Amazingly, the (seemingly) simple act of washing dishes gave me a new appreciation for building confidence.

My first day washing the dishes, in the dishwashing area, known as “the pond,”I braced myself for the task. Imagine a huge industrial sink, with two compartments each large enough to fit a very large double sink you might find in a home. At meal times, each of these was filled to overflowing with dishes, plus more dishes on the side of the sink. Large soup pots and huge 10 gallon buckets were placed on the floor, awaiting washing.

Just ten minutes into my first shift, I nearly keeled over from shock as I saw more dirty dishes than I’d ever seen before. Somehow, I got it into my head that, to keep up, I had to very quickly wash these nearly 150 pots, pans, serving trays. baking trays and serving utensils.

As the stream of new dishes kept coming, non-stop, I started to freak out. “Um, how am I supposed to do all of these?”  I muttered under my breath. The heat of the hot water I sprayed made me sweat. Physically. And emotionally. I could not possibly keep up and keep churning out clean dishes. I started telling myself, “You’re too slow. Someone else would do this faster.” That didn’t help. I was stressing out by trying to keep up with the onslaught of dirty dishes.

After about 20 minutes, a woman from the bakery arrived at the sink with an enormous plastic box, the size of a large foot locker. The box was covered in oats and honey. “I need this cleaned right away,” she said forcefully.

I buckled. Why did she have to bring me this dirty box right now? Couldn’t she see there was no space to wash something so big? Tears filled my eyes. I threw my arms up and walked away from the sink. I sat on a bench in the lodge and cried.

I had lost my confidence.

The chef on duty, Talia, came over to me, and said very gently, “Looks like the dishes got to you, eh?” She told me that this could be a stressful job for anyone, especially right after meals. It’s normal to feel flustered, she told me. And she let me know that the best way to handle the never-ending stream of dishes was not to go faster and faster, but to just wash one dish at a time. “Hey, I’m not saying this to humor you. It’s a hard job for many people. It’s OK for you to have a hard time with it.”

I took a deep breath, seeing with new perspective, and turned around my confidence. I went back to the dishes and decided to make it a spraying game. I changed my groove.

Here are three things you can do to create a new, more confident attitude

(1)  Celebrate what is working, instead of what’s not working.

I said to myself, “Hey, you cleaned another dish!” instead of “Look how many dishes you still have left.” Then, every dish became a little happy party. And over time, I had a lot of happy parties (including wet ones, from that soapy hose).

(2) Take the elevator down, and feel your feet. Get grounded.

The pressure I felt was really in my head, where I had invented a story about how fast I had to go. Instead, I deliberately drew my attention down into my feet. I made a point of feeling my feet as I washed the dishes. And soon, I stopped thinking and worrying so much. I started dancing with the kitchen music.

(3) Get inspired. Take a breath.

Instead of going faster and faster, I slowed down. I did that by breathing very intentionally. I felt the in breath and the out breath. I started to feel stronger as I washed the dishes. I became more powerful. As I focused on what I could control, my breath, I found myself more in control of the task at hand.

What have YOU done to create confidence? To turn around a stressful situation into one where you feel your own power?

Please share your stories and tips for creating confidence here on the blog. You can be confident that I’ll post back.

Here’s to washing clean,

What would YOU like to feel more confident about? I’ve decided to write a whole month of blog posts on creating Kick-Ass Confidence, from mid-September to mid-October. Each day, I’ll be sharing stories, ideas, and practices for cultivating feel-it-in-your-bones, deep-rooted, self-confidence. Get the whole series delivered to your email box, for free! Plus other fun goodies to help you boost your confidence. Subscribe now by clicking here.

Here’s a little insight that came to me today, as I was talking with a friend. My friend told me that what I’d said was so juicy, I just had to share it.

“Work works best when you get to be yourself on the job. To do otherwise is to split your precious self into pieces, and you are worth so much more as the whole than the sum of the parts. So please, do what it takes to keep yourself together. Craft your work so it truly fits you.”

How does that sound to you?

By the way, if you’re struggling to keep it together, wishing you had work that fit, you owe it to yourself to check out the “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit” workshop I’m teaching the last weekend of this month. You’ve still got a few days to get the bonus free coaching session with me, too.

Stay whole!

Last night, at a women’s networking event, a very bubbly woman came up to me and said she’d heard of my company, Work from Within. Practically brimming over with energy, she looked me in the eye and said, “Oh! You’re the person who works with career change. You’re the lady who helps people find their passion!”

“Um, no,” I replied. “Two things. First, I’m moving out of helping people in career reinvention. I’m reinventing myself, empowering professional women to build deep-rooted confidence, make richly rewarding decisions, and ultimately do work that matters to themselves & others, by connecting them to their instincts & impulses.”

“Wow!” she exclaimed, “I like that…but I’m considering a career change. Your old work. Will you still tell me…how do I find my passion?”

My reply: “Well, my second point is this: I don’t believe in “finding” your passion. First, you have multiple passions. Second, your passions are never lost. They’re always inside you, waiting to be awakened. What you want to find are the places where your passions resonate.”

I went on to say “You awaken your passions by knowing the people, places, and situations that give you energy. Passion isn’t just one thing. Believing you have to find the “one thing” can drive you batty! Your passion is formed by a constellation of experiences that make you feel alive. Make a list of what energizes you. Carry it around. Feel that energy. And start to notice where you have more energy, and where you have less. As you spend more and more time in that positive energy, you’ll discover the work (and the people, places, and situations that resonate for you.”

This woman’s eyes lit up. She knows what energizes her. She started the list. And she promised to stay in touch to let me know what she discovered. Her passions are doing their magic on her, because their within her.

So tell me, please:

Now that you know that your passions are within you, always, what will you do to honor your passions?

Passionately yours,

This summer, I grew sugar snap peas in my garden. It seems like a Nature has become a sweet, patient teacher for me, including what she’s taught me about laboring close to the earth and who I think I am, but am surprised not be.

In this video, you’ll find three other “natural” lessons.

Let me hear from you. How do these lessons help YOU in your own life?

Most mornings, I wake up and journal. This morning, I was moved to write poetry. And then I was moved to share my tender words with you. It’s a long poem, so click “Keep reading” to read it all.

You think you know who you are…

You think
You know
Who you are
You identify yourself
In certain ways
Thinking you’re the expert on
Who you are
Until you encounter
Something
Unexpected

I thought
“I don’t handle a crisis well”
“I am very squeamish about hospitals”
“I can’t handle adversity”
And then
My dad
Unexpectedly
Fell. Knocked unconscious.
For 18 hours.
I got the call at hour three
Was at his bedside at hour seven
Just left my husband five days before
Moved into an apartment two days earlier
Was totally disoriented
Lost
Somehow I stayed
By Dad’s bedside
In the ICU
For days
Somehow I knew
The questions to ask the nurses
Somehow I helped
My mom to manage
Somehow I coordinated
All the different doctors
Dad survived
Somehow I thrived
“I handle a crisis pretty well”
“I’m only a little squeamish about hospitals”
“I can handle adversity”

(Keep reading….)

What did YOU do this summer?

Me, I went to a kind of “adult summer camp” on the Pacific Ocean at the Esalen Institute in Big Sur, California for 28 days to escape the confines of the virtual life. Living and working alone was killing my inspiration for Work from Within, and sapping my energy.

I opened my heart. I fed my body a dose of hard labor. And I was transformed.

Now, I am evolving a new, more vital and engaging vision for Work from Within.

Flash back to May, 2011. I was feeling extremely lonely and depressed. A dear friend pointed out something I really didn’t want to hear. He said, “I don’t know how you do it. I don’t think it’s healthy to live alone and work alone. That combination will sap your soul.”

Then he asked me an important question:  “What can you do to get a dose of community?”

He knew the answer I would give him. Immediately, I thought about the Esalen Institute, where he works. Sitting right on the Pacific Ocean, between San Francisco and Los Angeles, Esalen is sited on intensely rugged, gorgeous land, where the mountains practically kiss the ocean. For nearly 50 years, the Esalen Institute has been a hot spot for personal growth. Famous philosophers, psychotherapists, and teacher like Fritz Perls, Abraham Maslow, Ida Rolf, Aldous Huxley, and Alan Watts all lived, studied, and taught at Esalen. They ushered in an era where personal growth was encouraged and supported.

Amazingly, I have been blessed to have taught at Esalen (and I’ll be teaching a career transformation workshop there September 30 to October 2. You’re invited!) I love being a workshop leader at Esalen.

But from July 31 to August 28, I had a much, much tougher role. I decided to be a work scholar.

I agreed to work 32 hours a week. I was assigned to the kitchen. Not as a chef. Not even a sous chef. Nope. It was not glamorous work. I cut cucumbers and carrots. Sliced bread. Wiped down tables. Refilled coffee urns. And washed a ton of dishes, by hand. I mean a ton. Giant soup pots and massive bowls, all used to prepare 300 to 370 meals a seating. It wound up being the most physically demanding work I’ve ever done.

Additionally, I was mixing it up for 28 days with 23 other work scholars, ages 22 to 78, who like to dive deep in understanding themselves and others. After living alone for the past decade, I had three roommates in bunk bed space. I was worried about how I’d deal with others. Fortunately, no one snored. Everyone was friendly. And we didn’t have to cook our own food, so there were no sinks with dirty dishes to create frustrations. Mostly, we worked from 7 am until the early afternoon, took workshops, and arrived home around 10 pm to sleep and repeat the cycle again, with two days off per week.

When I wasn’t working, eating, or sleeping, I could take movement classes, soak in the hot tubs, take hikes, get a massage, take a nap on the lawn, volunteer on the garden, sit on the deck and talk to interesting people from all over the world, or find a spot and write in my journal. Interestingly, I had almost no interest in getting on my computer, even though the lodge has wi-fi 20 hours a day. No, I was much, much more interested in talking than typing. Why? I was in cultural heaven. Our group of 24 included men and women from Israel, Germany, Spain, Australia, and France. And in the extended staff, I met people from Canada, Japan, Korea, Argentina, England, Ireland, and Turkey. I love the multiculturalism of Esalen.

Over the course of the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some of the lessons that I learned. But let me start with the lesson that touches my heart most deeply in this moment:  To create truly meaningful community, I had to unplug and reach out to people, face-to-face, heart-to-heart.

Virtual connection just doesn’t fill me. Sure, it’s information, and it’s nice to visit Facebook and read my friends’ updates. But consuming too much Facebook, Twitter, and email forms an incomplete diet for me. No, I wasn’t a monk before being a work scholar. I did have a social life, but it was insufficient. And difficult to put together. It took a lot of effort to get friends together, especially in the San Francisco Bay Area, where everyone seems to be so darned busy. Bottom line:  I was simply spending too much time alone, plugged in to a virtual world on my computer, staring at the screen instead of looking into someone’s eyes.

Before my Esalen experience, I was starting to question whether I was actually an introvert, not the extrovert I sensed myself to be at heart. I now know — from all the conversations, all the times I easily created a bridge and introduced two people, all the times I practically ran across the lodge at meal time to listen to a friend describe the massage she’d just had — that I’m an extrovert, for sure.  The contact with other human beings has just got to be real. I need my daily quotient of hugs. I need to be able to see other people’s 3D facial expression. I need to be able to take a walk with a person, or touch their hand when they’re having a hard moment. Or give them a “high five” when they’re celebrating a victory.

I’m a touchy-feely kind of gal. I confess it. (That confession is especially for myself.)

And I’m a social, connection-loving, community-building kind of woman.

So, instead of doing my most of my work of helping people bring out their best at work via the all-too-impersonal telephone, I am hatching a plan to create in-person, super yummy, highly experiential, community-generating, personal growth events related to work. I envision salons. Not the kind where you get your hair and nails done. Salons where people gather under the roof of an inspiring host, partly to amuse one another and partly to refine taste and increase their knowledge of one another through conversation. The intention is to educate and enrich like-minded, like-hearted people. If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area and would like to host a salon, contact me and let me know.

I will also be speaking, in really dynamic ways, using theatrical, improvisational approaches, partly inspired by the performances some of my fellow work scholars created under the direction of the ever-humorous writer and performer, Ann Randolph.

Hey, if you’re outside the San Francisco Bay Area, no worries! I will still do teleclasses and create eBooks and eCourses for you. But, more ideally, you’ll contact me and invite me to teach a workshop or offer a salon in your area. Then, I can meet you in person and shake your hand.

No, scratch that. I will meet you, but I’ll give you a hug. I need to be touched. And I bet you do, too…

QUESTION FOR YOU:  Am I right? Do you need to be touched? Let me know how you feel about living in a world that’s going more and more virtual…

Sending you a big hug,

PS – If you want a real, in-person hug from me, and tons of support for answering the question, “What’s next?” in your career, it’s time to get your butt (and the rest of you, especially your heart and guts) to the Esalen Institute retreat center in Big Sur, California, September 30 to October 2, 2011, for my workshop, “Crafting Careers That Truly Fit.” Will I see you there…?